Well, being as there’s nothing of interest here, let’s take a stroll and see some of Crustwood. .It’s a small place, tucked away between the Interstate bypass and the sludge canal. We need only walk five minutes to be in the commercial district. Here’s the Crustwood Vista strip mall. Here we have the Le Taudit Bistro where Chef Jeff is master of the microwave. There he is now, supervising today’s delivery from Sysco, Today’s special is Saucisson en Croute, and Jeff wants to make sure Sysco doesn’t short him on frozen pigs in a blanket. .And next we have Klassy Kuts Haircuts and Pedicures – “Home of the Head to Toe $5 Special.” You wouldn’t think folks would twice patronize a place staffed entirely by D.E. students who can cut wind but not hair. But owner Sissy Sue Gruber knows the secret of success in Crustwood: Make it cheap. Our Burl is a regular patron. Sissy Sue takes care of him personally. As a child, she was kicked in the face by a goat. She can’t smell (Sissy Sue, not the Goat – the goat smells about like you’d expect), so she’s the only one on staff who can give Burl a pedicure without projectile vomiting. .And here’s Jake’s Shoe Repair. Jake learned to fix shoes in prison. Wise Crustwoodians with shoe repair needs have learned to judge by Jakes tremors when he’s about to fall off the Meth wagon again. Don’t leave your shoes when he’s starting to twitch. He loses them, or eats them, or something. We’re not sure which it is, but Jake’s responsible for the “Odd Shoe” bin at the Crustwood Goodwill store. ,The next two spots are empty. One used to be the Chokin’ Chikin broasted chicken chunks franchise. The other was Taco Schnitzel. (No. You really don’t want to know.) .The last place is doing better.The Reverend Lee Otis Shaughnesy is pastor and head bouncer at the Korean Orthodox Prehensile Baptist Church. Rev. Lee Otis each week comforts and counsels customer’s of Klassy Kuts (Lord! Heel this bad haircut!), Jake’s (“I saw a man who had no feet…. and I envied him.”), and Le Taudit (Sister Ruth! Bring the mop and bucket again!). .Well, we’re out of time today, so we’ll walk back by the Crustwood Wetlands Project, where the City of Crustwood maintains a colony of lively nutria in a paradise of lush kudzu.
OOOHHH don’t forget Dora’s Discount Duds. “We specialize in sizes up to 7X”Joy and Verla are creeping up to the max size. After that they have to shop at the WalMart out on the Interstate. There they will find the Large and Lovely Dept takes up 3/4 of the Store.Anyway Dora buys all her clothes in bales direct from Goodwill Outlet Stores. They are a little wrinkled, ok a lot wrinkled, but they are so cheap one can afford to buy a year’s worth and never rinse out anything again. Verla has done this for years. Jerry likes to see her in a different outfit each time, he likes to think people will think she is rich, wearing something new and thus think he is too. (rich that is, he wears his own outfits from Dora at home. Dora is discrete, and Jer is her best customer. He is partial to purple satin)
Last Rose Of Summer Premium Member almost 9 years ago
$15 gone in 15 minutes.
TheWildSow almost 9 years ago
12-1/2 cents each, actually.I was gonna say, “Wow, Burl can do math in his head!”Well, maybe….but he can’t do it correctly!
orbenjawell Premium Member almost 9 years ago
The pops are probably old, like the Easter candy up on the list. I would much prefer BBBats……..
crabbear almost 9 years ago
Same old, same old……yawn!
InTraining almost 9 years ago
Complaint Department: I miss not having the find-it…! ! !
Observation: We have not seen the Green blouse with orange flowers for some time now. It must be lost under the bed again.
MeGoNow Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Well, being as there’s nothing of interest here, let’s take a stroll and see some of Crustwood. .It’s a small place, tucked away between the Interstate bypass and the sludge canal. We need only walk five minutes to be in the commercial district. Here’s the Crustwood Vista strip mall. Here we have the Le Taudit Bistro where Chef Jeff is master of the microwave. There he is now, supervising today’s delivery from Sysco, Today’s special is Saucisson en Croute, and Jeff wants to make sure Sysco doesn’t short him on frozen pigs in a blanket. .And next we have Klassy Kuts Haircuts and Pedicures – “Home of the Head to Toe $5 Special.” You wouldn’t think folks would twice patronize a place staffed entirely by D.E. students who can cut wind but not hair. But owner Sissy Sue Gruber knows the secret of success in Crustwood: Make it cheap. Our Burl is a regular patron. Sissy Sue takes care of him personally. As a child, she was kicked in the face by a goat. She can’t smell (Sissy Sue, not the Goat – the goat smells about like you’d expect), so she’s the only one on staff who can give Burl a pedicure without projectile vomiting. .And here’s Jake’s Shoe Repair. Jake learned to fix shoes in prison. Wise Crustwoodians with shoe repair needs have learned to judge by Jakes tremors when he’s about to fall off the Meth wagon again. Don’t leave your shoes when he’s starting to twitch. He loses them, or eats them, or something. We’re not sure which it is, but Jake’s responsible for the “Odd Shoe” bin at the Crustwood Goodwill store. ,The next two spots are empty. One used to be the Chokin’ Chikin broasted chicken chunks franchise. The other was Taco Schnitzel. (No. You really don’t want to know.) .The last place is doing better.The Reverend Lee Otis Shaughnesy is pastor and head bouncer at the Korean Orthodox Prehensile Baptist Church. Rev. Lee Otis each week comforts and counsels customer’s of Klassy Kuts (Lord! Heel this bad haircut!), Jake’s (“I saw a man who had no feet…. and I envied him.”), and Le Taudit (Sister Ruth! Bring the mop and bucket again!). .Well, we’re out of time today, so we’ll walk back by the Crustwood Wetlands Project, where the City of Crustwood maintains a colony of lively nutria in a paradise of lush kudzu.
Last Rose Of Summer Premium Member almost 9 years ago
OOOHHH don’t forget Dora’s Discount Duds. “We specialize in sizes up to 7X”Joy and Verla are creeping up to the max size. After that they have to shop at the WalMart out on the Interstate. There they will find the Large and Lovely Dept takes up 3/4 of the Store.Anyway Dora buys all her clothes in bales direct from Goodwill Outlet Stores. They are a little wrinkled, ok a lot wrinkled, but they are so cheap one can afford to buy a year’s worth and never rinse out anything again. Verla has done this for years. Jerry likes to see her in a different outfit each time, he likes to think people will think she is rich, wearing something new and thus think he is too. (rich that is, he wears his own outfits from Dora at home. Dora is discrete, and Jer is her best customer. He is partial to purple satin)
crabbear almost 9 years ago
Oh, Lord help you-all!