Endtown by Aaron Neathery for June 11, 2014

Okay, typical Wednesday. Will kielbasa jerky work?

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ENDTOWN (of the Stick), June 11, 2014

THANKS, MISTER NEATHERY, by Jenner, to the tune “Thanks for the memory” by Ralph Rainger, Leo Robin.As initially performed by Bob Hope and Shirley RossFrom Feb. 6, 2014Thanks, Mister Neathery,For stolen heart and brain,Poetry and painAnd sunny sky and shining sand when all we had was rain.How lovely it wasThanks, Mister Neathery,That little wind-up gunAnd monsters on the run.The plague of funny animals mutating everyone.How crazy it was.Many a humorous chapterAnd many a harrowing caper.But, shucks, they’re all just lines on paper.A phoney deal. Not really real.Thanks, Mister Neathery,Romance that wouldn’t quit,A ring that wouldn’t fit,A rhino on a gondola. We wondered where she’d sit.How lovely it was.Thanks, Mister Neathery,For streets of silent dreams,A stadium of screams,A tractor motor spouting out disintegrating beams.How spooky that was.Thanks, Mister Neathery,Fiancee with a hide, A city on its side,A paramour who struggled for her ‘til the day he died…(She brought him back.) (Yes, that was beautiful.)We got so het up about ’emThat somebody started a forum.Apparently, now there’s a quorum.Who cares but us? Well, someone does.Thanks, Mister Neathery,For cat and mouse delight,Revival rally fight,Her sitting guard upon the ward and by his side all night.How lovely that was.Thanks, Mister Neathery,The giant elastic sling,The suitcase and the sting,A frantic swim to save the crim who’d just lost everything.I thank you so much.Thanks, Mister Neathery,A rocket to destroy,A dupe and a decoy.The captain’s plot she never got to properly enjoy.I thank you so much.We said goodbye to our heroes,All laughing and crying like Pierrots.It clocked up a one and two zeroes.Of things to say? Yes, every day.(Thanks, Mist…)I wish they weren’t all gone.But things, well, they move on.And so we must, unless I’m just ridiculously wrong…(It’s been great.) (Wait, let’s… wait.)(Thank you, Aaron.) (Thank you.)(… in anticipation)

Maybe he can substitute some Italian sausage instead.

For those worried that Marx changed history by bringing back Opie, remember that he travels between universes, not times. He didn’t change this world’s past, just its present. Only a Marx living 500 million years ago could have taken an opabinia from this world and… Oh bugger.

I would say that a typical Wednesday in Hillside is a little different than I’m used to but I’m not sure I could even find a place that sold kielbasa in Wichita at any season. Thankfully I don’t have any reality hopping friends dropping off Opabinias on my doorstep.

Aaron Neathery has established that Marx doesn’t ever travel in time, only other universes that look like the past.