FoxTrot by Bill Amend for April 12, 2015
Transcript:
Marcus: We've come up with a way to help speed up televised baseball games. Roger: You boys should write the MLB commissioner's office. That's something they're wanting to do this season. Jason: Our initial idea was they should glue three balls together so a single well-thrown pitch could strike a batter out. Marcus: Then we changed it to nine balls so a single pitch could strike out the side. Jason: Of course, they'd need a three-handled bat so three players could be up at once. Marcus: Finally, however, we thought, why not glue 81 balls together and end all nine innings for a team with one perfect pitch? Jason: We're still working out whether the bat needs nine handles or 27. Roger: Um, what I said a minute ago? Ignore it.
Templo S.U.D. over 9 years ago
How is even one pitcher going to throw 81 glued-together balls?
batmanwithprep over 9 years ago
The amount of perfect games would skyrocket.
Pedmar Premium Member over 9 years ago
What I hate about baseball is that they take too long between pitches. The endless staring and fidgeting. Throw the ball, already!!!
And then the pitcher is always striving for the 3-2. Can’t you just try and strike the guy out, without deliberately throwing balls?
Ugh. Baseball needs editing.
puddleglum1066 over 9 years ago
Baseball is a game that does involve some sitting around doing nothing on a pleasant summer afternoon. If that’s a problem, I think it’s more a problem with our workaholic society than with the game.
jimmeh over 9 years ago
The biggest time reason for long games are the three minutes of tv ads between innings. In 1966 the average ad was 45 second. As Casey Stengel said, “You could look it up.”
cubswin2016 over 9 years ago
I don’t think this is going to work. I don’t see a way for any one to score.
vwdualnomand over 9 years ago
just know that the cubs will never win the world series. bunch of losers. the stadium is still not ready.
jayhawk19 over 9 years ago
All you guys harshing on baseball clearly have never seen or played in a game. While watching baseball is extremley boring nothing is more exillirating than bieng at the game and watching the home team wallop one out of the park or feeling the ping of an alumin um bat making solid contact with a ball.
battycomic Premium Member over 9 years ago
One problem I have is these guys that hit foul ball after foul ball after foul ball. Limiting how many foul balls a batter can hit before it’s considred the third strike would help shorten games, IMO.
KEA over 9 years ago
all they have to do is ban hitting gloves and timeouts for TV
Sheila Hardie over 9 years ago
Take out the commercials. Problem solved.
Stephen Gilberg over 9 years ago
“The Alvin Show” had a kid swing three bats at one ball. One swing meant three strikes.
mjfinegold over 9 years ago
This reminds me of The Simpsons episode in which Barney is on the wagon and goes to a baseball game. He is shown to be the only non-drinking fan in the stands and muses, “I never realized just how boring this game is.”
PatinMcman over 6 years ago
Does anyone else see that jason’s mouth is opened in the first pane’
alecgiacometti over 6 years ago
Or 13122 balls glued together to end the season altogether with one great pitch.
Quincy_Knows_Best almost 6 years ago
If they hit a home run would it be 81 points?
phoenixnyc about 3 years ago
It would be easy to speed the games up. Allow foul balls to be called as strikes, even if that’s the third strike.
Kid Covid over 2 years ago
Now, where did they get 92 baseballs?