FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for April 27, 2024

She was talking in your sleep you just weren’t listening

A man once had a nightmare so terrifying that he chewed his pillow to bits. The next morning, someone asked him how he was feeling, and he replied: “A little down in the mouth”.

There’s nothing like a good joke, and that was nothing like a good joke.

♪ I hear the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep ♪

My husband is a loud snorer. When we first got married it bothered me…until I read a letter on Dear Abby. A woman wrote saying that for years her husband’s snoring bothered her…until he died. “Now” she would give anything for the chance to hear it again. Suddenly my husband’s snoring wasn’t that bad. We’ve been married for 38 years and I sleep better hearing it (which I only do 3 nights a week as he’s a 3rd-shifter).

My funny snoring story (true!):

My family was visiting relatives in another state and my dad and I were sharing a Motel room. His loud snoring was really messing with my sleep, so several times that night, I swatted him with my pillow and then immediately acted like I was asleep. The next morning at breakfast, dad said “I had a weird night last night…” ㋡

Yes, Roger, that is why.

Now we know why Roger’s nose is always pushed up!

Roger is a bit stuffed up this morning.

And here, all this time, I though sleep apnea was a threat!

Ah Roger! Clueless as ever.

My dad says he once stayed awake all night to see if he snored, and he didn’t snore once.