Frank and Ernest by Thaves for July 27, 2015

You say we’re on the tenth floor?

Well ,you know what they say about the elevator game ? It has it ups and downs !

He has a job offer from The Big Bang Theory…

No wonder he can’t fix it. There are no steps in an elevator.

I always take the elevator, I was taught that it’s not polite to stair.

Sorry, I had to drag this one out of the archives:

A new store selling new husbands opened in Toronto; where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor; however, you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs…

She is intrigued; but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs and like children…

’That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have good jobs, love children, and are extremely good looking…

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have very good jobs, love children, are extremely good looking, and help with most housework…

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have exceptional well paying jobs, they love children, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with all the housework, have a strong romantic streak, and they are 100% faithful.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 18,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Please exit to the right to make room for more unreasonable shoppers.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. Similar instructions are posted at the entrance of this store as well.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have their own money, and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

What goes up. Must come down.