Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 11, 2018

I’m sort of hoping the ashes from the cigarette above the umbrella rains down on said umbrella and catches fire.

Part of this is because the tobacco industry paid “experts” to confuse the issue, so more data had to be collected to demonstrate what everyone already knew.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merchants_of_Doubt

Vaping, the early years.

Someone’s wallet is getting fatter and fatter.

The bum always seems to ask whether or not about bumming for an umbrella from any one of his co-workers whenever it rains..

That’s Ben Vereen, isn’t it? I never knew he, uh … burned stuff.

The hope is that today’s strip does not cause one person to begin or to continue smoking.

Smoking takes second place to MLB stats, for a preferred job. At least for me.

Nice carburetor.

Smoking causes Derby hats and wingtip collars

Lived toward the end of the “Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em” times … once, standing in line to buy a carton, I told a disapproving lady that I was doing it “For the children” (to help fund various programs, politicians, and statisticians) … snerk

THE leading cause has to be statisticians.

The phrase was popularised in the United States by Mark Twain (among others), who attributed it to the British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

If man was meant to smoke he would have a chimney on top of his head!

Proved beyond doubt? Like 51% probability or 99.99%? Gotta be careful with these “beyond doubt” statistics.

When I got to Blood Rare Books, Conrad Volvulis was elbow deep into piles of statistics at a tiny desk behind the counter. An ashtray beside him featured at least three smoldering butts and one half consumed cigarette. The air in the shop was stale and smoky, and I guessed the O2 content to be less than 18%, presumably to prevent oxidation of valuable books, as that was the only explanation worth buying. A glance up when the door hit a bell on a hook reassured him that this wasn’t a raid or an angry customer. “Ah,” he exclaimed, “The Golden Goose pays a visit. You know, most takers have you in the ground by next week Thursday. I’ll clean up!”

I think this was featured on Frog Blog back in the day.

Cigarette Umbrella Keeps Tobacco Torch Dry

https://gizmodo.com/5039920/cigarette-umbrella-keeps-tobacco-torch-dry

For some oblique reason this put me in mind of the 1953 film noir crime film directed by Fritz Lang, “The Blue Gardenia”, which features George Reeves (“The Adventures of Superman”) as a police Captain who smokes heavily throughout the film. Big, fat ciggies that he lights like cigars with a circular motion.

Meanwhile:

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/e0/50/cb/e050cb64b3490c79856be465beff4067.jpg

Federally Mandated Warning Label:

Caution! Statistics can be dangerous to your health!

Alternate Version:

Statistics kill! Think before using!

Second Alternate Version:

(There have been books written about the dangers of statistics….)

Smoking will definitely shorten the length of your cigarette.

Quitting can be a bigger danger to your health.