Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for November 16, 2019

How do you know what I do with my embrocations?

Hot-cha-cha-cha…

On this planet. What is the plan, Stan the Manet?

If death is the result of your violent exercise, you now have a remedy for rigor mortis.

This Formula … Also known as…

Icey Hot… I use the roll-on to apply.

Rub all over? You mean…..naaaa…really?

Boxing Kay-O’d again!

Cures incipient stiffness in every appendage. “Hey, buddy, I know it’s cleanly and pleasant in use, but are you sure you wanna rub that on those sinews?”

Wanna buy some little blue pills? They will take care of the anti-stiff.

Not falling into this Teresa Trap …….clever girl.

Sounds like Viagra for Bizarro World.

It will strengthen and stiffen your mustache.

Darned this uncomfortable leg muscle stiffness, sure hope that no one notices this (making a feeble attempt to walk) limp..

I got these names from the band name generator at the website

https://www.bandnamemaker.com/

Liniment Of The Scratchy Brigade

Embrocations Of Sword

(I like them Tee. Can I keep them?)

P.S. “no faith required”

Wha bout faith hills tug on the tee mcgraw timber falls tree’s.

P.S. “hopeless?” … Not

Tip the waiter…

Stiff boy.

This is an oxymoronic ad if ever there was one …

anti-stiff muscle strengthening indeed … a true myth that is clearly confusing … along the lines of jumbo shrimp …!

As long as it’s not Bengay®, it can turn you …Ben.

“Embro” os apparently pretty nasty stuff.

https://www.competitivecyclist.com/learn/dos-and-donts-of-embrocation

Anti-stiff = flaccid

Notice how much smaller his hand “rubbing it in” is. The bigger hand looks swollen and dark.

I wonder if Vlad could have benefited from some Anti-Stiff. Who knows, it might have helped him sprout a neck.

Wish I could give this one a lot more than just one like—it deserves many and many more.

Anti-stiff just might be useful for those turned stiff, indeed some kind of complete flash petrification. (See “The Gorgon” 1960. a fictionalized version of a ‘true’ story. Only the names, places, dates and people are changed to protect the foolish.)

No faith required!

Anti-Stiff is a “snake-oil” product for external use only. But its basic ingredient is much like that of the potable kinds: alcohol. Amazingly, works every time! —Even if you can’t remember it the next morning….