Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 16, 2020

As compared to …

Quickly check your zipper when a short person says you have nice hair..

Oooo top of the backseat of a Lincoln Convertible.

Zip up to open rear end …

Is “Hot-Rod Lincoln” an oxymoron?

…Sticky Fingers…

…slippery…er… hearts…

…zippers are why I don’t go commando…

…if I do it, I get a whippin’…

…I do it…

…(whatta ya want? God grammar or good taste?…

…the dilemma, which head do you listen to?…

… Abby or Brittany?…

…I’ve been in that car…doing that…

…and loving every minute of it…

…what?!?…

…Meatloaf, again?…

Is this a “softcore porno” cartoon? Has it a double or even triple entendre?

Zippers. Love ’em or leave ’em. Or, sometimes, they get stuck.

Perhaps I should retire it to Old Zip-Files, ‘cause I wouldn’t want it to be floppy….

Buckle up for safety, buckle up ….

Everyone hates those questions you have to answer on the fly.

…this is capitalism in a nutshell…

…there are all sorts of capitalisms…

…but only one with a Constitutional guarantee…

…buy one-get one free…

…freedom of free speech…

…like the Tony Soprano thug stating to the new bakery owner…

…this is a nice business…

…things are going to go great for you…

…nice neighborhood…

…but it would be a shame some random hoodlums throwing a Molotov cocktail through your window…

…that would be terrible…

..tragic…

…now, we would never allow that to happen…

…but manpower isn’t free…

… capiche?…

…gotta love the thin gray line of legalease…

…no laws broken…

…but people know exactly where you are coming from…

…open, open, open…

…luckily, it’s a blue dress…

…I promise…

In tents.

Zip up your do dah, do it today…

Open your eyes there’s a new world a-comin’

Open it all we’ve come to stay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, open it all

Open it, open it, baby,

NOW OPEN THAT DOOR

.

There’s an island way out in the sea

Where the babies they all grow on trees

And its jolly good fun

To swing in the sun

But you gotta watch out if you sneeze-sneeze

You gotta watch out if you sneeze

.

Paul Kantner & Jefferson Starship lyrics

Time really telescoped on the most recent weight gain.

Zipper

Squirrel Nut Zippers

Armed Resistance Against Squirrel Treachery

Coincidence?

Zipper Fly

Button Fly

String Fly

Velcro Fly

Hooker’s. Fly

A little care can go a long way toward avoiding Zipper Burn!

Hey, your barn door is open!