Heart of the City by Steenz for April 21, 2010

Oh, Good Grief!

You can almost hear the piano in the background.

Panel 4: A next gen. ‘Kite eating tree’.

High voltage lines will fry the Franklin out of you if you aren’t careful, Dean.

You stupid streetlight, give me back my kite !! “Kick it, Dean !!”

Ah, it’s the old Kite-eating Lightpost – my childhood nemesis.

Dean, you blockhead!

it takes a certain amount of skill to launch a kite successfully in a small window surrounded by kite eating trees, telephone poles and utility lines

Sadly, all too often the fault lies not in the surroundings or the well-intentioned would-be kite-flyer. Kites suffer terribly in captivity, and a full 73% of all kites resort to self-destructive behavior when forced to perform at the end of a string.

The wild ancestors of so-called “domesticated” kites flew freely and joyously through the springtime skies, and accounts of early settlers tell of huge flocks of majestic kites, each group capable of darkening the skies over an area the size of Massachusetts. As the pioneers moved westward in the 1800’s, hastening the suburbanization of the virgin American wilderness, the systematic exploitation and en masse eslavement of these beautiful creatures resulted in the precipitous decline and eventual total disappearance of kites in their natural state.

The modern housekite lives a tormented life which is no less tragic for its brevity. They are treated as playthings by callous children, who regard the kites’ characteristic jerking and swooping as “fun”, rather than what they are, fevered struggles towards thwarted freedom.

Alas, what is to be done? The degraded instincts of modern kites mean that, in those cases where a desperate kite does break its string, it almost immediately plummets to the ground, rather than soaring off to liberty (the absence of hungry and sick feral kite packs is perhaps for the best). The ones which are dashed to pieces are perhaps the lucky ones, as those who survive the fall are almost invariably once again fastened to a new string and forced immediately back into servitude.

This message brought to you by People for the Ethical Treatment of Kites (PETK).

Fritzoid, what rock did you crawl out from under? Talk about babbling idiots.

While I may be in the minority here, thanks Fritz - I got a good laugh out of that one.

Wow, Fritzoid, I normally only observe the posts…kinda like a scientist watching the guinea pigs, but that demanded a comment. Brilliant absolutely brilliant! I’m tempted to plagiarize it.

I’m with Karou-dono, Fritzoid. Absolutely brilliant!!

Karou-dono, you have my free blessing to reproduce this in full or in part. I don’t feel any need to have personal attribution, but if I hear that you’re passing it off as your own you can expect to hear from my lawyers.

Just kidding. Knock yourself out.

I thought only trees did that.

Gotta get that kite to fly! (He’s a good man…) Sorry, everybody else got my Peanuts lines…

@fritzoid - inspired!!

Fritzoid: ROTFLMAO!

It’s been a looonnngg day - I needed a good laugh

Fritzoid > Thanks for the laugh !

@rmbdot and Me_Again: Are you using phrases from “Charlie Brown”?

rerun