Looks Good on Paper by Dan Collins for May 31, 2024

That’s not the half of it.

HAWN-sel? HAWN-sel!?

Obese people are difficult to kidnap.

It would be best to use a George Foreman Grill.

They look pretty ripe and juicy, though. Yum!

21st century siblings!!!!!

It’s still OK once in a while…

What?

And high levels of micro-plastics as well.

Disgusting things, aren’t they?

She stopped ordering from the kids’ menu.

Ha! Perhaps you’re not rendering them properly.

Well, if you’re going to keep luring them with houses made of gingerbread and candy, what do you expect?

She needs to pay a visit to the local witch market, and see if they have any of the low-cholesterol varieties in stock. (Can’t you just see the advertising: “New! Improved! 50% Less Cholesterol Than Standard Children!”)

She has no re-Gretels.