Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for September 06, 2015

Let’s party begin.

mm-hmm

“Five of others” , huh? Sounds like a Borg designation….

So funny, since Luann wants to get rid of her clothes, then she ends up with “five other pieces”, in exchange for her one outfit she would end up donating… thus she ends up, “right back where she started from” ….

So suddenly Bernie is hallucinating that she’s back at Luann’s place, feeling comfortably superior and in control? And the brownie turned into a same-size cellphone? There’s more in those brownies than a controversial herb.

Hey Bern?

Question: WHY do You INSIST On Snarking the ONLY Person that ACTUALLY Listens to You???

Luann has good intentions, but she does not know how to execute them properly. She will end up even more cluttered!

This type of realization doesn’t usually sink in until a woman is much older than Luann. At least that’s what happened to me and other women I’ve talked to. I spent so many years collecting so much useless junk and I’m so tired of it now and just want to sell it all, which is what I’m doing.

Two thoughts:

You probably won’t get serious about downsizing until it’s time to move.

You can’t win an argument with someone who thinks they’ve spotted a bargain.

“I don’t understand why they hang Out. 90% of their interactions involve Bernice insulting Luann, There’s not even a punchline here. It’s just mean.”_____________________________________

Implausible, I have been Wondering about HOW and WHY These Two Are Friends for Years.

One Observation: Luann Puts Up With, DEALS With, And LISTEN’S to Bern’s NONSENSE, and then Dutifully Carry’s On with Her Day.

Bern on the other Hand, WILTS like an Unwatered Petunia whenever Someone Makes a Play for Her “Boyfriend,” Shows Interest in Her Long Lost Brother (see the Archives) or Ignores Her Completely like the Dorm Maggots Did last Week.

So Between the two, Which is the Stronger and Who Needs WHO the Most?

“One person’s non – joy can be another person’s joy”^This is so true. Except for the “Over/Under factor”. In this case, never take the “Under”. (;-))

“A Thrift In The Fabric Of (Closet) Space”

If five is the best you can do, you need to find a better thrift store. I can get a wardrobe for what one dress costs at the mall.

“Consignment Of The Times”

That outfit is ugly and looks like it’s toddler size.

Yes I know, different on Sundays. I was just playing with the idea.

And Bernice isn’t actually being snarky here. She’s giving good advice. And Luann hangs out with her because she’s Luann’s reality-check. REAL friends tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear.

Luann go visit Dez & eat a brownie then everything will be okay! She might even tell you when Prudence will arrive.

Alert, Gunther: Rosa and baby are fine and are ready to come home to see daddy. Look into night classes at the college, and get a job.

Alert #2: Mr. Gray, a small time Vegas mob is looking to expand and want to discuss “office space” in your new warehouse.

It’s all about how you wear it, Luann. Put it on and go to the mall. You’ll be making a statement!

If it’s weird enough, and worn by a beautiful person, people will just ooh and ahh the outfit, no matter how dreadful it is….

Bulletin: Mr. Gray notifies the boys from So. Cal. that he has all the “insurance” he needs in a safe deposit box. He further suggests that they check their last few income tax returns “just in case” they somehow get audited.

“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Clutter”^Ha ha ha!!- I had a few more, but I haven’t been able to sit down and get ‘em out. I’ve been under the weather today, and so has the Mrs.(different ills, though) and we’ve been “chilin”… plus, the “family ride” has been feeling a little bad, too…