Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for August 29, 2018

You know what I’d like to see? Other than My Favorite Nerd locked in some Winsome Young Woman’s dorm room where He’s tied helplessly to Her bed while She giggles and tickles Him RELENTLESSLY with an Ostrich feather until He literally BEGS for Mercy?

Come Saturday, or at the end of this particular Arc, Luann takes Tiffany by the arm, pulls her to the side, looks her Deaf in the eye and tell her in no uncertain terms:

“Jack? He’s all YOURS, Madame Butterball! USE Him Wisely!”

Then walk away and not say another word. Let Tiff ‘think’ She’s ‘Won’ one for a change. She’s overdue in that department anyway. It’ll be Good for Tiff’s Ego, and it would make Luann a “Good Person” for doing so. Luann really doesn’t want the guy right now, anyway. I mean Jack is an okay guy and all, but there’s probably someone better waiting for Lu down the road.

Besides, Tiffany strikes me as being someone who would be “Clingy.” Her first REAL Boyfriend? FORGET about It. She’ll Smother, Call Him every 30 seconds, and Show off Her new “Boy Toy,” at EVERY opportunity. Jack will get tired of it REAL QUICK (Probably in a Week) and DUMP Tiffany in short Order. And Jack Will Appreciate Luann That Much MORE, and come back to HER.

Meanwhile back at the Guest Gulag, Irma and Al return to find Le$ missing and Gunther happily popping the cork on a chilled bottle of champagne. Al is about to ask WHY a bloodied wood chipper is sitting on the front lawn, when He suddenly notices what appears to be a freshly dug grave at the base of a spreading chestnut tree.

#FREEGB!!!