Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for August 29, 2018

Tiffany must’ve done ballet or gymnastics since elementary school.

Be careful where you do a split, or you could land in a pile of…

“RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!! PLOP!!!!”

Followed by the sound of Unrestrained Kiddie Giggling……..,

@FREEGB!!!

That’s fatastic… I mean fantastic

Obviously lusnn can’t do that

Fortunately for Tiffany, exercise pants are also considered to be high fashion these days.

Tiffany just regressed about five years. Sad.

Legitimately impressive to me, seeing as I have never once been able to touch my toes.

@GooGoo: Who is ‘Lusnn’ and how do you know what Lusnn can and can’t do? Are you the artist?

How typical of most young people. She doesn’t want him but she doesn’t want her biggest rival to have him either.

Tiffany if split your legs to for you might not be able to get up!!!

Tiffany does something that amazes the kids, and Luann immediately makes what she has done look stupid. Typical.

Ouch! If Tiff pulled a muscle, that’s gonna hurt for a looong time. Accidents seem to happen when Jack is on the scene (bowling ball on Luann’s foot, flat tire, and a split Tiff)…hmm… ;-)

When martial arts star Samo Hung broke his leg while attending the Peking Opera School, he continued to eat as he usually did during his recovery, resulting in the weight gain that would earn him the nickname “The Fatty Dragon.”

Well, she might be chunky but she is still limber. I know some overweight people who are quite limber and healthier than the normal bodied people. A normal body does not always equal to good health.

They will have to pick her up just as she is to load her on the gurney and into the ambulance. Then, they will have to have a structural engineer check the floor.

.

That wasn’t for the kids, she did that to impress Jack.

Cleaning the floor was probably Tiffany’s job back when she was working here, and they still haven’t hired anyone to replace her.

Paris (Tiffany) is back in idiot mode. She’s acting like a complete celebutard.

Can’t wait for her to land. (Suction, LoL!)

Doesn’t Tiffany have office work to do?

Is always sad to see someone in a so desperate need of attention from anyone. I wonder what Jack think about this situation. At least Luann and the children have fun.

I’m surprised she didn’t break through the comic panel lower boundary. Could have been a free fall into the hyper aether. There and only there could her immense ego collapse upon itself creating tiffanium, the densest substance in the universe.

As long as Jack is on Tiffany’s radar, she will stay locked in ‘I-want-attention’ mode.

The school has a filthy floor? Fire the janitor. And Jack brought a mat, so doesn’t that mean that the kids too will soon be exercising down on that filthy floor?

Thunder thighs and lightning legs. Forget Stormy Daniels, we got our own boomer, here.

I’ll be more impressed if she can get up without help.

Tiffany can find lumber at a store of hardware….

….and she found limber…even after her days of cheer wear…

….but she won’t find a new lumbar…at least not just anywhere…..

“A Split Decision”

“Cheer….And Present Danger”

“Ballet For A Girl, Who Never Lived In Buchannon” (♬♪)

“A Baby Grand Jeté”

“It Would’ve Scored A Ten….But The Romanians Were Busy Taking Selfies”

“You Should’ve Called For A Coach, A Trainer, A Spotter….And A Janitor”

“Stretching: The Real Truth”

“She Sells Pretzels Down On The Not-So-Clean Floor”

or

“You May Be Flying High, Now…But You’re Gonna Get Grounded!”

Maybe Tiffany can hire Jack to be her personal trainer.

tomorrow: Luann and Jack chat while Tiff pleads for assistance getting back up. LOL

“No,” Luann says sadly.

That’s it, Luann, cover up your inability to do something with a sarcastic attitude.

This is just a case of young adults still doing the dumb stuff to show each other up they did in high school, Not the best look for small children, but how exactly the arc ends up is what is interesting to me. All the ingredients are there, two frienimies (did I spell that right?), Mr. Man, and the audience of children who know them both. What could go wrong?

1

Admittedly, I may be in a grouchy mood in general today, but for me, today’s comic has done nothing to lift my mood. For me, Luann’s “dirty floor” remark seems very mean-spirited and Tiffany’s adamantly jumping to perform the “splits” seems like she is trying to be like a circus pony to capture Jack’s attention. Neither young ladies today have done anything either should be particularly happy with, IMO.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. It probably will be.

Okay, I guess it’s official: Let the fat-shaming begin!

Oh, what? It’s already begun?

Oh, yeah. I do try to avoid the comments.

Oh, who am I trying to kid?

Q: What do Stretch Armstrong, Tiffany, Plastic Man, Jean Claude VanDamne, Maria Tallchief, Mikhail Barishnakov, Nadia Comăneci, Mary Lou Retton and Pretzel Guy all have in common?…..

-

A: They’ve all had to use a door, at some point….

You know what I’d like to see? Other than My Favorite Nerd locked in some Winsome Young Woman’s dorm room where He’s tied helplessly to Her bed while She giggles and tickles Him RELENTLESSLY with an Ostrich feather until He literally BEGS for Mercy?

Come Saturday, or at the end of this particular Arc, Luann takes Tiffany by the arm, pulls her to the side, looks her Deaf in the eye and tell her in no uncertain terms:

“Jack? He’s all YOURS, Madame Butterball! USE Him Wisely!”

Then walk away and not say another word. Let Tiff ‘think’ She’s ‘Won’ one for a change. She’s overdue in that department anyway. It’ll be Good for Tiff’s Ego, and it would make Luann a “Good Person” for doing so. Luann really doesn’t want the guy right now, anyway. I mean Jack is an okay guy and all, but there’s probably someone better waiting for Lu down the road.

Besides, Tiffany strikes me as being someone who would be “Clingy.” Her first REAL Boyfriend? FORGET about It. She’ll Smother, Call Him every 30 seconds, and Show off Her new “Boy Toy,” at EVERY opportunity. Jack will get tired of it REAL QUICK (Probably in a Week) and DUMP Tiffany in short Order. And Jack Will Appreciate Luann That Much MORE, and come back to HER.

Meanwhile back at the Guest Gulag, Irma and Al return to find Le$ missing and Gunther happily popping the cork on a chilled bottle of champagne. Al is about to ask WHY a bloodied wood chipper is sitting on the front lawn, when He suddenly notices what appears to be a freshly dug grave at the base of a spreading chestnut tree.

#FREEGB!!!

Kids, can you say ‘pathetic’?

The only funny part of this strip is the look on the Bernice-haired girl’s face.

So far this week, Jack has stayed out of the girl’s little tug of war, not reacting to any of Tiffany’s attention seeking or Luann’s snark. When this arc opened on Monday, I was hoping we would see what Jack is really made of – perhaps his focus on teaching the kids is a good sign.

Tiffany looks slimmer every day. Really! If the artist wants to make her weight an important part of the strip, shouldn’t she appear more than just slightly overweight? Her depiction today seems well within the range of “normal” and “healthy”.

Good thing Jack did not leave his bowling ball there on the floor.

But the real question is can she get that new lardass she carting around up off the floor?

Tiffany is facing a lot of peer pressure to not change from the shallow self centered girl she was. It’s almost like the other girls in the strip need her to continue to be shallow to feel better about there lives (Dez excepted,, but she also hasn’t much history with Tiff). It would be interesting to see what Luann or Bernice would do if she was faced with the same kind of situation as Tiff – money to do/major in what she likes, and a councilor to help her make decisions. It seems like the only reason Luann is pursuing teaching is to have what she considers a stable career, and honestly, she doesn’t seem to have put much thought into it other than kids seem to like her. Bernice seemingly has no interest in changing from the smart girl in class that always has defined her, and I doubt ever had that image of herself much challenged, other than when Tiff actually helped her. Tiff at least is having to put some thought into figure out how she wants to define and maybe change her life – and you can live a worse life than attractive, smart, fun loving, rich and free to make your own choices. I’m not impressed that the other girls seem to be letting her “mistake” of gaining weight define her. By objective standards, Tiff is and has been doing much better then the other characters. She in’t being judged by those standards though. As for Jack, if he’s not into a attractive, rich, well connected, soon to be college educated woman literally doing splits to impress him, perhaps the problem is with him. Snarky Luann certainly seems available, if undesirable.

Poor Tiffany is so needy

No wonder kids grow up confused with these two for role models

Ouch!!!!!!!

Now that what would call a split

Filthy floor in a childcare center? I nearly barfed when I read this. Unless the kids just soiled it, those floors should be cleaned daily. Yuck.

Now all Tif needs is a banana, some ice cream, and various toppings.

Luann recognized that, in some circumstances, a pair of tights just isn’t Thick enough.

There are some places you just don’t Want the dirt to go.

But can she get back up? THAT’S the million-dollar question.

Oh, man!

KIDS! Beware!

The Green-Eyed Monster is on the loose among us!

enjoy white dust marks all over your legs and butt for the rest of the day…

It’s amazing how fast tiffany’s mood goes from fanciful air headed blonde trying to show a boy how limber she is in panel 2 to having reality bring her back to earth in hard fashion in panel 3.

for anyone who actually gives a damn, I can dislike Tiff or Luann’s actions without judging them PERMANENTLY. Also even if I totally disliked you, appearance is one place I never lower myself to criticize, because that is basic 10 year old schoolyard bully crap and I am way past that. So for example the fact that Sarah Huckabee Sanders irritates me no end is no reason why I would feel justified in bringing up her appearance as some people have in the media, in any context, because it really is un-called for and is childish.