Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 28, 2008
December 27, 2008
December 29, 2008
Transcript:
Earl: What's that? Edna: Herbal vitamin supplements. Earl: Hmm... kind of expensive for a fixed income. Edna: It's in the budget, dear... you've been taking them every morning for the past two years. Earl: Oh... so what does it do for us? Edna: Improves memory. Now put it in the cart. Earl: Ah, good... sounds like money well spent! What were we talking about? Edna: OK, OK... I'll put it back. Budget shopping with Earl and Edna...
Top Ten ways to tell if your HMO is cutting corners:
They try to convince you that “Dentine” gum is now the accepted substitute for visits to the dentist.
The Surgeon who’s scheduled to do your tonsilectomy wears a hockey mask and calls himself “Dr. Jason Voorhies”.
The hospital gown that you’ve been asked to put on has a picture of a lobster and “Barnacle Bill’s Seaside Cuisine” emblazoned across the front.
Swiss Army Knives, Ratchet Sets and Voodoo Dolls are among the items that your policy will pay for.
This month’s special is “Half co-payment on Lobotomies!”
Your new eyeglass lenses have a “Ziebart” sticker in the lower left-hand corner.
You have a taxi fare-meter at the foot of your hospital bed.
They try to convince you that “Tic Tacs”, “Good ‘n’ Plenty” and “Pez” have just as much medicinal value as “Prozac”, “Biaxin” and “Viagra”.
You get to choose the caliber of your painkiller before they start your surgery.
And the Number 1 way to tell if your HMO is cutting corners:
Instead of saying “Please have your Insurance paperwork ready”, the sign above the admissions desk says “Abandon all hope ye who enter here.”