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Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 19, 2009
Transcript:
Obviousman: A-hem... testing, testing... I just have a brief statement that's of great importance to the mental health of the nation, indeed, the world... as an epidemic continues to grow unabated and can only be reversed by pointing out... that anyone who appears on a reality TV show with the word "celebrity" in the title, isn't a real celebrity! Reporters: Ow ow ow ow ow... OK... um... that makes our brains hurt... Obviousman: That's due to years of inactivity as real reporters, which is an issue for another day...
LordDogmore over 15 years ago
Touche Obivous Man! A well placed hit!
Varnes over 15 years ago
OBVIOUSMAN is my favorite celebrityâŠâŠ
carmy over 15 years ago
Thank you Obviousman, Iâm looking forward to your next press conference.
halavana over 15 years ago
Obviousman. My hero. sigh
Kaytebb over 15 years ago
THANK YOU Obvious Man! My hero! Though you might have to repeat that a little louder for the so called celebrities to hear you over the roar of their own egos.
My favorite example of this is the guy who was on a reality show about dog groomers (Groomer Has It), came in second and now appears on other Animal Planet shows as an âexpertâ and is credited as a âCelebrity Dog Groomer.â Not a groomer that grooms dogs of famous people, a groomer who thinks he himself is famous and it somehow honors the dogs to be groomed by him. Twitch⊠Twitch⊠the guy lost! And not only that he was a sore looser too! He walked off going, âIt should have been me.â
PLEASE SAVE US OBVIOUS MAN!!
ejcapulet over 15 years ago
Reality TV is such and oxymoron!
Ushindi over 15 years ago
The San Francisco Chronicle used to be my favorite newspaper, but the reporting now is like TV news, entertainment passing as âreportingâ, and âreportersâ passing as reporters. Our brave new world.
D-i-c-e-R over 15 years ago
Those reporters are taking Obvious Manâs word for it without question. Real reporters do research and check facts. They create the story instead of having it fed to them.
In this case, they should look at âQ Scoresâ and do opinion polls to find out who rates A-list celebrity status. If a person is on the B-list or less, then they arenât REAL celebrities.
Note: Cartoons also have Q Scores called Cartoon Q.
boozoothatswho over 15 years ago
Reality TV is that bleeep Jay Leno saving money for the network at 10 pm.
The reality of reality TV is that anything involving actors, writers and any intelligence is a better way to spend your time than Sanjaya. These networks have said they donât want to spend any cash to buy your allegiance, so you get Flava and Brigit, and Simon Cowell, who will never reproduce if Charles Darwin wasnât an idiot. The point of reality TV is that human beings are willing to be repulsive for cash. And people will watch this? Are we not men?
Do people not understand that this shite is scripted like wrestling?
GROG Premium Member over 15 years ago
Now more than ever, it is an idiot box: produced by idiots, performed by idiots, advertized for by idiots and watched by idiots.
wicky over 15 years ago
A magnificent blow against the âdrive-by-mediaâ!
invisifan over 15 years ago
Actually you can get enough âCelebritiesâ to do just about anything for some combo of money & ego ⊠itâs the âRealityâ that isnât realâŠ
(Although personally Iâm waiting for âCelebrity Wipeoutâ)
green_engineer over 15 years ago
HI!, Iâm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such programsâŠ
lewisbower over 15 years ago
Is PBS is broadcasting?
wdgnas over 15 years ago
to compare reality tv to wrestling is giving wrestling a bad name. granted they are both fake and scripted, but nobody takes a steel chair to the skull on a reality tv show. and most of the wrestlers are better actors.
gjsjr41 over 15 years ago
You may have a point there, wdgnas.
DacotahKid over 15 years ago
Save me from ever watching a âRealityâ or âcelebrityâ show of any kind!
ZetaZeta over 15 years ago
An exception can be made for Celebrity Deathmatch.
David_J Premium Member over 15 years ago
Reality is keeping the television turned off except for shuttlle missions on NASA and the occasional classic movie on TCM.
kfaatz925 over 15 years ago
Cheers, Obviousman (two hits in one!) And thanks, Wiley.
Lurah over 15 years ago
Yeah! Right on Wiley - thanks for telling it like it is!
reocare over 15 years ago
what is scary is that these shows have a followingâŠ.
gcisthe1 over 15 years ago
YES! YES! YES!
notinksanymore over 15 years ago
I think Annie Duke is a celebrity. Sheâs the only reason I ever watched the Apprentice. Of course, it was really bad and I will never watch again, but I still like Annie Duke.
Digital Frog over 15 years ago
Wiley nailed it with this one. RIP Mr. Cronkite.
Garrulous over 15 years ago
A real reality show wouldnât work.
Tune in at 8 to watch people watching families watching TV. Each from their own separate room! Watch as they text each other trying to get snacks delivered. Watch as dust collects on their vapid expressions. Call the number on your screen to vote who you think will be the first to STAND and WALK to the bathroom and off the show forever!
Remember to send us a recent photograph of yourself, your SSN, your motherâs maiden name and a $100 cashierâs check for made out to Garrulous to be entered into the drawing for a year of FREE. Enter as often as you like.
Tune in tomorrow for an 8 hour marathon of âTV Addiction Interventionâ.
DevXIII over 15 years ago
He ought to have mentioned that anyone calling themselves âfair & balancedâ are lying through their teeth..
Trebor39 over 15 years ago
Couldnât have been stated better, âObvious Man, except by Walter Cronkite.
lazygrazer over 15 years ago
Loving the comments, gang!âŠ.including this oneâŠ.
olfart said, âI donât understand most of these comments. I am probably happier not knowing what you are talking about.â
jimimack over 15 years ago
If it werenât for cartoonists, how would we know what reality really is?
Nelly55 over 15 years ago
never watched one second of reality TV and never will
Science Channel is about it these days
reynard61 over 15 years ago
boozoothatswho: âAnd people will watch this? Are we not men?â
No! We are DevoâŠlving into drooling imbeciles!
alife over 15 years ago
Dracip said, about 12 hours ago OBVIOUSMAN is my favorite celebrityâŠâŠ WEEE Pointing fingers so maybe is he a ârealâcelebrity⊠I want him to continue!! My Head hurts! Iâm trying to say something Iâm thinking but I canât get it out. Msaybe more coffee, ya that will do it?
caddy.1957 over 15 years ago
I for one find many things entertaining on TV Science Channel for âHow Itâs Madeâ but as for other types of shows that are âso calledâ reality such as Survivor ManâŠand all the rest of them I have one thing to say âI am not a celebrity,get me outta hereâ
wicky over 15 years ago
You want reality? check out Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Caddy.1957 you are correct âhow itâs madeâ beats all the inane drivel on the eye.
cpb124 over 15 years ago
hey at least su rvivor man is by himself, unlike bear whats his face from man vs wild
dshepard over 15 years ago
While I like the entire cartoon the last frame is my favorite oneâŠ.becuase its so true.
amauriced over 15 years ago
RIP Walter. The great triumvirate is gone, and real journalism has long since left the building. Iâm only sorry that he had to witness the devolution of his legacy into the farce that passes for news reporting today.
ejcapulet over 15 years ago
The only American TV I miss are the educational channels: History, Discover, HGTV, PBS⊠anything like that. Just thinking about âMummy Autopsyâ makes me homesick!
madKanga over 15 years ago
We used to have two local papers - a morning broadsheet of reasonable quality and an evening tabloid. The evening tabloid closed, and the morning paper moved to tabloid size - and tabloid quality! No news and anything for a gimicky headline. The only part worth reading anymore is the comics.
wolfhoundblues1 over 15 years ago
I Micheal Jackson still dead??? That is what inquiring minds want to know
Potrzebie over 15 years ago
Heâs doing an Elvis. Expect to see him on those tabloids soon.
bmonk over 15 years ago
In Ringworld, Larry Niven postulated a âluck geneâ, but when the puppeteers tried to contact someone with the gene, they were too lucky to be found, so the person they eventually got was, in the end, not as lucky as they hoped.
The celebrities on these âcelebrityâ reality TV shows are not real celebrities, because a real celebrity wouldnât be on such showsâŠ
Khard12 over 15 years ago
Well said!
WalterEPhillips over 5 years ago
Stupid