Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 27, 2012

Fine-tuned table etiquette. As if our culture didn’t already have enough ways to waste time. Don’t spill, yes. Don’t vomit on the tablecloth, yes. Don’t put steak knives in your mouth, yes. But why does anyone need rules about how to hold silverware? And why would anybody ever in history need two forks or two knives or two spoons for a meal? It just seems irrational! There’s my mini-rant.

I always just used the little salad fork for everything. Man may gouge out a tonsil with that dang long fork.

By the time you get it to your mouth there’s nothing on the spoon…such a long trip to get there.

Next lesson: From which side of the glass do you drink?

Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

from the previous strip about the mole flambe…

Did anyone else notice that Rat’s beer has a good head on it?

the comments are off to a good start, but I’m afraid I have to side with Prof danglais on this one….sometimes rituals have a real world purpose behind them….not to say there aren’t things that are just plain stupid…

Usually I favor Goat over Rat, but this time is an exception. POKE HIM AGAIN, RAT!

Sorry, Goat, but this time you deserved it.

I drink my soup from a cup

What’s next? No farting at the table?

@ Stan King: Most people get that quote wrong. It’s actually “A FOOLISH consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds”. And don’t even get me stared on “Ignorance is bliss” …

@Proginoskes -If ignorance is bliss, then the USA must be one happy country!

I’m totally with Rat on this one. And I notice that the vast majority of folks I’ve observed eating soup, even those with extremely good manners, eat their soup the way Rat does. Now if Rat were slurping the soup from the spoon I’d be one to complain, but to push your spoon away from you when your eating is up tight pretentiousness.

“As little ships push out to sea,I push my spoon away from me.”-My grandmother</>

Stick a fork in me, I think I’m done.

Actually, the original phrase is “A foolish inconsistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.

Thanks! That makes sense. Although with my spare tire, it usually hits mid-shirt front instead of lap.. ;-)

Mistress manners quite con-bannaners

Depending on the angle of the dangle.

The spork is one of man’s greatest inventions. Sharpen the edges and you can even use it to cut food.

ooh,he spilled his coffee

The fondly remembered first wife tried to civilize and train me that way. Tried.

you can always do what my husband does (behind my back) is to drink your soup from the soup bowl!

Disgusting. Simply disgusting.

(NOTE TO SELF: Remember to clip and save for files — classic example of “injury to the eye motif”).

- Dr. F. Wertham

1. I haven’t spilled soup in my lap for years. Seems it is always intercepted by my belly.

2. In “God Knows,” King David points out to Schlomo that you always drink with your nose inside the rim of the cup. Why? So you don’t pour the drink down your front!

I have a bad habit of reading while eating, unless it’s a special occasion like a birthday. Sometimes I’ll hold the bowl under my face with my left hand, so that the soup won’t spill all over everything. Luckily, my husband also likes to read while eating, so we’ll read in peace at a restaurant. He likes to work puzzles also, but I can’t manage to logistics of that.

Ya know, I always thought it was rat that was the problem. Well, he is, but that’s besides the point. Here, Goat is clearly the idiot. He knows, from REPEATED attempts to communicate with Rat that he will wind up the worse for it. So that makes him either a masochist or an idiot.

I think Rat needs some anger management classes…haha

Better than a sharp stick in the eye

SPASM ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

You don’t eat soup with your hands? Wow, I’ve been doing it wrong.

If he went to manners class in college he would fail…

The soup I make doesn’t spill, mostly becuase it’s full of semi-melted cheese

This isn’t exactly a comment, but is there only one comic for pearls before swine? How do you get to the other ones?

I’ll take my stand with Goat, the victim of a vicious physical assault, being poked in the eye with a soupspoon by the despicable Rat. And all because he tried to suggest good manners!

TOTAL agreement with thatnicecollegeguy – civilization, well civilized behavior anyway, can be shoveled a bit deep sometimes. A person only really needs one fork, one spoon, and one knife – and sometime not even all that(I’m leaving out the specialized eating tools for lobster, crab, etc. because it really is possible to get by without ’em – if you have a good knife, fork, and spoon).The more airs placed upon us by people that consider themselves “uber” civilized the more we chain ourselves with OTHER peoples’ beliefs and thoughts – I really wish educators would get it right and figure out how to teach the art of LEARNING with out imparting any beliefs in the process.

Somebody tell Rat he jabbed with the wrong end of the spoon.The handle end is pointier.

I presume that none of those opposed to proper etiquette at table would open a door for a hot young lady, let alone an old lady with arms full of packages. Most rules of manners are to make life a tiny bit more civil. You don’t need to understand ’em to obey them.

How do you eat soup with chopsticks?

I like my soup in a cup also. Why waste precious time?

I’ve been eating my soup wrong this whole time? :O

Why would you want to go and antagonise the rat for? It can not get you anything but trouble.

Obviously the most efficient method for the ingestion of soup is to toss the spoon away and suck the contents directly out of the bowl. I learned that in the dorms.

anger management? what anger management?

my mom threw a pickle fork into the ‘Ol Man’s forehead playing Hearts back in the 60’s. Nice friendly game with the neighbors.

For people who care about which way you move your spoon to eat your soup – there’s medication for that.

Hate to agree with Rat – but in this case Goat is a jerk.

This question applies only when you are at the point of tipping the bowl to gather the remaining broth. Tip bowl with left; gather broth with right, moving spoon away from your lap. Or as someone noted, abandon the spoon at this point in favor of taking what remains directly from the bowl, as Asians do.

And don’t forget “Music has charms to soothe the savage breast” (not beast)

I normally like Goat, but in this case I’d smack him with a spoon too.

This is similar to an ordeal I fight with my folks at home. When I’m eating something that requires a knife and a fork (e.g. steak), I usually use the fork in my left hand to keep it stable and use the knife in my right hand to cut the food. But instead of switching the fork over into my right hand, I simply just eat the food with my left hand. They always bug me for this, but I still refuse to follow the rules. Why waste time switching hands? My method makes it faster and easier to eat!

Yeah, Goat deserved it that time.