Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 09, 2014

Somebody should beat up Rat to a bloody pulp . . .

Did she bore him to death?

No man can listen to a woman for an hour straight and live!

I love Rat’s children stories. More!Ellie should have learned to date men in places without cell phone service. Or to sit on whoever it is that’s trying to call the stupid paramedics.

Ah, the bliss of necrophilia! But wouldn’t Elly soon tire of his unresponsiveness?I guess she’s better off alone.Nice story, author Rat!

Another date ruined by a paradox…

He’s the one who writes the Elly Elephant stories.

I have never cried so much, get my tear vase!

Yes, I know it’s one of Rat’s stories, and separate from the rest of the strip, but maybe Ellie should meet Officer Potus.

That is what happens when Elli ties to date someone without knowing their political affiliation. He could have been a democrate.

Onto the next sorry sap for Elly.

Try listening to a Texas woman for more than three hours that thinks she’s god’s gift to politics!

Of course he was a good listener – he has no mouth so he can’t interrupt anyone. Being mouthless is also probably why he died. Oh well.

Although she never would forget “The Man who Listened.”

Elly should have known… no man alive can listen for more than 15 minutes, let alone an hour. Our brains don’t work like that!

The same goes for men; if I have to listen one more time to my better half going on and on about some technical thing about which I have no knowledge, I’ll scream

I feel so sorry for Elly in practically every one of Rat’s stories. But maybe that’s the idea.I am 19 and I have never had a boyfriend or even went on a date.Am I ashamed? HELL NO!xxx

Of course what’s missing here is the final panel, where Goat tells Rat that this is inappropriate for a children’s book.

alone again (naturally)

Is this the first Elly strip that didn’t feature rat as the explicit author?

What a hopeful strip.

I don’t think the Elly strips are supposed to be written by Rat. Rat does the “Danny Donkey” stories. I’ve noticed that the Elly stories have a consistent theme that women are usually better off alone than with a man. Unusually honest of the author to admit that, since he is a man.

is Elly the super shy sister of Ella?

I thought he’d turn out to be deaf or something.