Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 13, 2016
Transcript:
Pig: Excuse me, Mr. Phone company guy... you left this phone book on my porch, but no one uses them anymore. Delivery Man: Not true. Pig: What do you mean? Delivery Man: If the cops need to beat someone they're interrogating, they use a phone book because it doesn't leave marks, so if you ever become a cop, that thing could be pretty helpful. Pig: It's nice to see the phone company adapting.
BE THIS GUY about 8 years ago
USE IT ON RAT!!!
USE IT ON RAT!!!
Sherlock Watson about 8 years ago
Also, people use it to look up phone numbers. We did just that a few days ago.
:
Isn’t it pathetic the way some people dismiss anything that’s been around for more than a month as an anachronism? It’s like they’re desperate for a reason to feel superior.
Templo S.U.D. about 8 years ago
sounds like a white lie from the telephone company to me
Oshietekun about 8 years ago
Didn’t we just cover this ground a week ago? Looks like the phone book story arc will be slow paced.
knight1192a about 8 years ago
If you can get a decent phonebook, it’s far easier to look up a number in than to go online. The ones they put out around here aren’t decent anymore, their about as difficult as going online to find a number since you have to try and figure out where you should be looking for something. If I need to look up a Doctor, do I look in the white pages under D for doctor(believe it or not they’ve pulled that around here) or in the yellow pages under doctor, hospital, clinical, or medical services? If I want to look up my town’s water department, do I look it up in the yellow pages under government or the white pages under W for Water Department or under the letter the town should be listed under (used to be you’d look up your town and they’d list all the town offices, no need to hunt in the yellow pages or in fifty million places in the white pages). If I want to look up someone’s phone number do I look under the letter their last name begins with or the letter their first name begins with. I tried looking up a classmate’s number a few years ago, both our last names start with the same letter, but neither of us were under that letter. Instead the idiots had reordered things by first name.
dadoctah about 8 years ago
We used to make fun of the category names in the yellow pages. You want to buy a man’s shirt, should you look under Shirts, or Clothing, or Menswear? No such category. Okay, how about Apparel? Or maybe Garments? Nope, not there either. Have to think like the people who made them all up in the first place; think like it’s 1920 and you’ve never actually left the house and talked to other people…what would you call it? Vestments? Attire? Costuming? You might get all classical and try Raiment? (Hey, everybody loves raiment!) Ah, finally, here it is, under Habiliments. Should’ve guessed that right off.
PICTO about 8 years ago
If people would just memorize the number of their favorite pizza place we could save a lot of trees.
Chad Cheetah about 8 years ago
A whole new meaning to “throw the book at him”
Darsan54 Premium Member about 8 years ago
We leave extras at Vic Mackie’s house.
pmcomeau about 8 years ago
watching Le Ripoux again?
bigcatbusiness about 8 years ago
Wow. Nice sale strategy. How low can you go with a lie?… I wonder if I can use it…
Andrew Sleeth about 8 years ago
Heck, cops don’t care if they leave marks. None are ever successfully prosecuted anyway. Our society essentially sanctioned murder under color of law since the days of Jim Crow, and DAs nationwide have implicitly supported it with glaring consistency. Even they recognize who it is that’s carrying the weapons.
hariseldon59 about 8 years ago
Phone books are still good for propping up furniture and for short people to sit on.
tzid about 8 years ago
et tu pastis? The cops have enough trouble without this nonsense
æ² about 8 years ago
If they stop making phone books, what are bodybuilding show-offs going to rip in half?
cupertino jay about 8 years ago
hands up; don’t shoot
Carl R about 8 years ago
Phone directories still have value for looking up businesses, but those you can find online. White pages omit people with cell phones, but are at least helpful for the few people with land lines. I haven’t found a way to find individual numbers online, so at least the few people I can find in a directory are better than nothing. The online versions of the white pages all want you to pay for the information, and want to include with it every public record about the person, when I just want a phone number.
Packratjohn Premium Member about 8 years ago
I keep a phone book in the car. Always have. Use it more for addresses than phone numbers. If Google Maps lets me down, the book can be a big help. Of course, no one seems to put their street numbers up any more.
Troy about 8 years ago
Rat will certainly find a use for it.
Rick Horne about 8 years ago
guard duck too
Michael Ritter about 8 years ago
So next Kaepernick’s going to sit on a phone book during the Anthem?
Michael Beeson Premium Member about 8 years ago
It’s not the phone company that leaves these books. It’s third-party “yellow pages”.
NWdryad about 8 years ago
Number Three about 8 years ago
See? Everything has a use!
xxx
dwkiser28603 about 8 years ago
I guess somebody remembered the first episode of FX’s the Sheild
librarian4hire about 8 years ago
I didn’t realize Rat and Pig live in Chicago!
Sisyphos about 8 years ago
Gee, Officer Pig! Crunch you!
Mike H about 8 years ago
Short people use them to sit on in the car if they cant see over the steering wheel.
washatkc Premium Member about 8 years ago
Right cosmik. Unless your in trouble then you love the police. Take that BLM BS and stick it up your……
aardvark86au almost 8 years ago
If you’re a modern sketch comedian, you can also use one for 5-10 minutes to beat a single joke to death.
Kombul Premium Member about 2 years ago
I learned about this practice from the movie My New Partner with Philippe Noiret