Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 23, 2017

Even cyclists hate cyclists.

I used to be a cyclist, I still hate myself.

Um… Pig? Are those ribs made from beef or pork?

how about a burger from Morning Star Farms? the patties are made form beans rather than beef

They are tasty.

Why did they invite Jef in the first place? Aren’t there enough wienies at the barbecue?

Hey, you just finished your ride. it’s a good time for protein-loading.

“Ok, Pig. How about some Pork Chops…. Get him, Rat..! He looks delicious..! "

“And two-and-a-half gallons of steroids.”

I like that people find it weird that a pig could be eating cow or other pigs, but not that an ape could be eating pig. Chickens eat other chickens, lobsters eat other lobsters…maybe it’s time to try human…the only true ‘free range’ and ‘humane’ meat….

Jef only spells his name with one one “F” indicating incompleteness. He probably rides a unicycle if truth be known. The 14 almonds is a cry for help, because we all know that it takes two 7’s to make fourteen, “7” being symbol for wholeness, which Jef ……………………………….. is not.

Well, its one reason why cyclists have no friends, there are more reasons

Annnndd time for Stephan to wait for angry complaint emails from cyclist readers…

Looks like he’s only cooking little sausages, probably Frankfurters, Hot Dogs, Tube Steaks, Wieners, whatever you prefer.

When I was riding my 18-speed regularly, I ate anything I wanted, probably 5000 cals per day.

the ribs are cabrito (goat)

I never learned how to ride a bike (SHOCK HORROR)

xxx

This strip could just as easily apply to runners or any other fitness fanatics. I don’t understand why Pastis always picks on cyclists.

After I’ve cycled for an hour, I stop for a burger or a slice of pizza. It’s a myth that you can lose weight by cycling.

Haven’t seen zebra in a while. I miss him.

We learned today that Jef must be from the UK. An American would spell it glycemic not glycaemic. Both are acceptable but the Brits like to throw in those extra vowels.

Hey, Jef the Cyclist? Eat your own nuts!

Poor lonely cyclists…. They deserve it.