Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for May 24, 2014

I see the GoComics update went well . . . as long as I don’t mind not seeing a single comic any more. :(

“Very well, then how about, ‘Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning,’ by Grunthos the Flatulent?”

Does that epic poem include any parts about sowing wild oats?

I think I read the cliff notes version of that on the back of a cereal box when I was a kid.

Good plan Marigold. Also I think I would sooner listen to 1,000 poems about rocks.

Marigold and Maud need to get together for a poetry reading.

So unicorns aren’t exactly deep with their literature…as long as THEY’RE happy with it…

Have fun Unicorn!

So that would be “poatry.”

Phoebe might find the epic more interesting than she thinks. It’s all about the ancient war between Oats and Wheat over which one was to be the One True Corn. It ends with the temporary triumph of Wheat in 1707, and does not go on to the famous conclusion of the war in which Maize uses its “pop” variety to sneak through the gates of Wheat unseen, and ultimately seizes the crown from both.

Unicorns had supported the Oats in all this, even so far as to act of supporters of the natural home of Oats in heraldry. All this is obliquely referred to in “Alice Through the Looking-Glass”.

Twilight would be proud

Oats, Oats, How tasty thou artThe more I eat, the more I… Want

Oats, oats, how tasty thou art / You start on the outside / And nibble towards the phantom part! {this goes on for another 93 stanzas, but you get the idea}

i will eat oats now