Pickles by Brian Crane for October 03, 2016

um… if I had that DNA kit, I would’ve put my mouth to the tube and spit into it

“Your results say you are a Bonobo.”

I say those “results” are totally phony. And yes, we wasted the $$ to find that out.

“Based on the sample you wiped up from the floor, it appears at least 50% of your ancestors came from Linolea.”

Ummm, old guy here. What is a bonobo?

According to Wikipedia, it was formerly known as the pygmy chimpanzee.

Oh; ok thanks.

Just for the record, you don’t spit into the vial, you use a little scraper to gather some epithelial cells for the test. I wondered if I could skew my results if I had a tuna melt before the test

" Oliver " is a Bonobo…

I helped an adopted friend find his biological family (after he had been searching 35 years!) by doing a DNA test. He was fortunate to have a close match. It still took some work putting the pieces together, but DNA was the key. And he has now connected with 5 full siblings who were born after his parents married.

Just send the towel. That way they can analyze the ethnic background and where you and Opal have been recently.

I despise those who spit in public.

Disgusting human beings.

xxx

Earl was born in a barn, lol.