Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for January 13, 2016
Transcript:
Boomer: Come quick, Poncho! You're on TV! Sort of. TV: .....brutal assault on a middle-aged schnauzer named Poncho Palmer. Dog: Horrible! Sucked my hair clean off! Like some kind of remorseless machine! Poncho: Oh, so what, it's just some stupid coincidence. TV: Police say there's only one other Poncho Palmer, who lives at 242 Olive Lane. Hopefully this strange assailant isn't making his way through some kind of list, and if he is, doesn't somehow learn the whereabouts of the remaining Poncho......
“Listen, and understand! That [Vacuum] is out there! It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are [hairless].”