PreTeena by Allison Barrows for September 10, 2003

But, er, surely Stick would not eat ham sandwiches? They don’t go with a name like “Sabra Klein”, for one thing. Nor would she eat prawns, lobster, mussels, clams, pig produce in general, nor would she mix meat and dairy produce on the same plate?

“The way you eat a ham sandwich” must surely be “not at all?”

Or - Stick takes two bites, then the moment she realises what she’s eaten is strictly traife and the total opposite of kosher, it comes out even faster and less elegantly than it went in? I’d buy that - Jewish girl eats totally non-kosher sandwich in error, and has an attack of kosher bulimia on realising!