Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 29, 2016
August 26, 2016
August 30, 2016
Transcript:
restaurant closings the following establishments have been closed for health code violations. moe's fresh fruit stand - produce badly damaged in collision during zany high-speed car chase starring jackie chan. o'bleary's irish pub - featured band keeps playing that damn unicorn song. futurismo cyber cafe - soylent green found to contain tofu, not people. p.j. piehole's family place - meat and vegetable courses offered on children's menu allowed to touch each other. child: aagh filibuster inn of capitol hill - new "dubya" special (pb&j on wonder bread) sickens over 20 diners with peanut allergies. starbucks inside another starbucks - broke law of physics stating that two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously.
The Soylents were made from red, green and yellow algae before the shortages from the ocean pollution caused one of them to start adding recycled human.