An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested riverThe anti-vaxxer asks “What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?”
The engineer replies “After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely.”
The anti-vaxxer then says “Forget it, I’ll swim.”
A zookeeper calls an ambulance and says: “Help, a crocodile took my leg off!”
The EMT asks: “Oh my god, which one?”
“I don’t know” , the zookeeper says, " those bastards all look the same!"
A rugged man and his crocodile enter a bar. Everyone immediately stares at the man and his crocodile that has captured their attention. He unzips his pants, hits the crocodile on the head to daze it, then puts his penis in the crocodile’s mouth. Everyone looks on in horror and amazement.
He then shouts, “I’ll give $1000 to anyone who thinks they can do that.”Silence . You could hear a pin drop in the bar as no one dares speak up.
“I’ll do it,” says a blonde in the back raising her hand. “But you have to promise not to hit me on the head first.”
NO truth to the rumor that Steve Irwin had a failed “Crocodile Hunter” sunscreen brand.Apparently, it didn’t protect you from harmful rays (too soon?)
Father O’Malley was walking through the fields in Belfast when he looked down and saw a four leaf clover. He picked it and spoke out loud, “This must be me lucky day!”
Then a Leprechaun came out from behind a tree and stood before him. “Oh, it is me lucky day! Do I get a wish now?”
The Leprechaun replied, “Father, we’ll get to that, but I have to ask you a question of dire importance. Do you have a leprechaun nun in your church?”
The father replies, “No, I don’t have a leprechaun nun in me church. Do I get my wish now?” Another leprechaun comes out from behind the tree and is giggling and snorting.
“Oh me lord, two leprechauns! Do I get two wishes now?”
The first leprechaun replies, “In a minute father, tell me this; In your travels of Ireland, have you ever seen a leprechaun nun?” The father replies, “No, I can’t say I have seen a leprechaun nun in me travels of Ireland.” The second leprechaun is now laughing and snorting and turning beat red.
The Father asks, “What about me wishes now?” The first Leprechaun says, “After this final question. In your travels of the world, have you ever seen a leprechaun nun?”
The father replies, "Not in my travels of the world, Ireland or in my church have I ever seen a leprechaun nun.”
The second leprechaun is now rolling on the ground in hysterical laughter. He points at the first leprechaun. “I TOLD YOU YOU BOINKED A PENGUIN!”
We had a yard with a lot of four, or more, leaf clovers. One summer there were kids in our yard from even the next village away who heard about it and came to pick some. I kept a 12-leaf version; it was kept pressed in wax paper in a volume of encyclopedia. Unfortunately, when my parents died and I was cleaning out the house, it was no longer there, so I have no proof.
Ricky T. Dunigan (November 17, 1973 – December 20, 2013), better known by his stage name Lord Infamous, was an American rapper from Memphis, Tennessee. He was a co-founder of Three 6 Mafia.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
So Betina technically has a 1,052-leaf clover?
JDP_Huntington Beach over 2 years ago
Crocodiles.
An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested riverThe anti-vaxxer asks “What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?”
The engineer replies “After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely.”
The anti-vaxxer then says “Forget it, I’ll swim.”
A zookeeper calls an ambulance and says: “Help, a crocodile took my leg off!”
The EMT asks: “Oh my god, which one?”
“I don’t know” , the zookeeper says, " those bastards all look the same!"
A rugged man and his crocodile enter a bar. Everyone immediately stares at the man and his crocodile that has captured their attention. He unzips his pants, hits the crocodile on the head to daze it, then puts his penis in the crocodile’s mouth. Everyone looks on in horror and amazement.
He then shouts, “I’ll give $1000 to anyone who thinks they can do that.” Silence . You could hear a pin drop in the bar as no one dares speak up.
“I’ll do it,” says a blonde in the back raising her hand. “But you have to promise not to hit me on the head first.”
NO truth to the rumor that Steve Irwin had a failed “Crocodile Hunter” sunscreen brand.Apparently, it didn’t protect you from harmful rays (too soon?)
Caldonia over 2 years ago
Kid, you’re lucky you didn’t break your face. Okay, the idea of crocs and gators playing games is actually pretty cute.
therese_callahan2002 over 2 years ago
I guess the gators who decided they wanted me and my family for lunch were playing, too.
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
How much time did Betina spend looking for four leaf clovers?
JDP_Huntington Beach over 2 years ago
Anyone search Betina for scissors during her Four Leaf Clover excursions?
A snip here, a snip there, and a 3-leaf clover becomes a four leaf clover!
SquidGamerGal over 2 years ago
Of course, you probably don’t want to play with a alligator or a crocodile unless you want to be lunch!
Carol from CT over 2 years ago
And all those 4-leaf clovers were right next to that toxic waste dump. Betina is fine, just glows in the dark a little….
martingregory497 over 2 years ago
Wisconsin doesn’t have 258 frost free days a year, clover doesn’t grow from March til Oct.
FassEddie over 2 years ago
Father O’Malley was walking through the fields in Belfast when he looked down and saw a four leaf clover. He picked it and spoke out loud, “This must be me lucky day!”
Then a Leprechaun came out from behind a tree and stood before him. “Oh, it is me lucky day! Do I get a wish now?”
The Leprechaun replied, “Father, we’ll get to that, but I have to ask you a question of dire importance. Do you have a leprechaun nun in your church?”
The father replies, “No, I don’t have a leprechaun nun in me church. Do I get my wish now?” Another leprechaun comes out from behind the tree and is giggling and snorting.
“Oh me lord, two leprechauns! Do I get two wishes now?”
The first leprechaun replies, “In a minute father, tell me this; In your travels of Ireland, have you ever seen a leprechaun nun?” The father replies, “No, I can’t say I have seen a leprechaun nun in me travels of Ireland.” The second leprechaun is now laughing and snorting and turning beat red.
The Father asks, “What about me wishes now?” The first Leprechaun says, “After this final question. In your travels of the world, have you ever seen a leprechaun nun?”
The father replies, "Not in my travels of the world, Ireland or in my church have I ever seen a leprechaun nun.”
The second leprechaun is now rolling on the ground in hysterical laughter. He points at the first leprechaun. “I TOLD YOU YOU BOINKED A PENGUIN!”
Nala the Great over 2 years ago
I wonder if that guy on the bike is still alive! I guarantee if he tried that in NYC traffic he wouldn’t be.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
And on the 259th day she stayed in her room.
Take care, may barmy mushroom horticulturist Andy “Lorem Ipsum Has Always Beckoned From Afar” Hippieord be with you, and gesundheit.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
I never knew crocs and gators were so playful and fun loving! Next time I see one I’m going to walk right up and hug ‘em!
drycurt over 2 years ago
We had a yard with a lot of four, or more, leaf clovers. One summer there were kids in our yard from even the next village away who heard about it and came to pick some. I kept a 12-leaf version; it was kept pressed in wax paper in a volume of encyclopedia. Unfortunately, when my parents died and I was cleaning out the house, it was no longer there, so I have no proof.
Scott S over 2 years ago
One leaf is sunshine, the second is rain.
Third is the roses that grow in the lane.
No need explaining the one remaining, it’s somebody I adore…
poppacapsmokeblower over 2 years ago
Alligators playing? What a croc!
Malcome1 over 2 years ago
As a kid they were fairly common to find. Took the wonder of it away..
Buckeye67 over 2 years ago
The really amazing thing about Betina is that it took her so long to figure out what a waste of time it is to pick clover.
gozar over 2 years ago
May Lord Infamous be with you
Ricky T. Dunigan (November 17, 1973 – December 20, 2013), better known by his stage name Lord Infamous, was an American rapper from Memphis, Tennessee. He was a co-founder of Three 6 Mafia.
Bilan over 2 years ago
Betina really only found one four-leaf clover. It was the same one on her front porch.
pbr50138 over 2 years ago
I’m guessing that at some point, someone will solve the Rubik’s cube while driving a car. Sort of like dialing a number on their phone.