Rubes by Leigh Rubin for November 09, 2017

Rest assured, I aint !

Well, if she didn’t wear glasses, I’d love her just as much.

The two words that make any woman beautiful…“Last call”.

I like when she squeals like a pig, sir.

Oh Dad, Don’t be such a crashing boar.

Rather boarish behavior don’t you think?

Petunia, I don’t like the way your dad’s looking at me. It’s like he’s boaring right into my soul.

Hamstrung

Nobody can resist a nice pork butt…………..unless you’re muslim.

Hard for us humans to judge, but I guess by warthog standards she’s a 10!

Flanders & Swann:‘I fancy you must be a sort of WarthogThough for a Warthog you look a messThat make-up’s far to heavy for a Warthog;You could have chosen a more suitable dressDid you have to dye your hair?If that’s perfume give me air!I strongly disapprove of scarlet teethBut let us take the floor‘Cause I’m absolutely sureThat you’re a WarthogJust a WarthogThe sweetest little,Neatest littleDearest and completest littleWarthog … underneath’.