Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for August 26, 2019

That tired old bird Cosmo is dropping his bike since he has pooped out on using it.

I was given a treadmill because I was told to walk for 20 minutes a day when I was being released from the hospital after a small stroke. With the weather in the desert it’s much easier to walk on it every day and I do.

Is there a section of the Classified ads for “substitute exercisers”?

We have a tread mill and a stationary bike and neither are used. I’ve started walking this summer. maybe I’ll use them this rainy fall and winter.

Rim Shot…

It looks like he knows his employee.

We’ve got a walker and a strider. . .the cats like the walker, and the strider is good for hanging clothes on. . .

I do not exercise. In my case, my having done so proved hazardous to my mental and emotional health, as well as audibly offending anyone else in my vicinity. Exercising modifies my personality from that of Bruce Banner into the Hulk.

I have never managed to do anything at gym; can’t stand the smell.

I prefer to exorcise.

NOT “It’s ONLY been used . . . ,” but “It’s been used ONLY . . . .”

If people would merely LISTEN to the meaning of HOW they say something, there would be less confusion in the world. Here’s the rule of thumb:

Only I poked him in his eye with my stick.

I only poked him in his eye with my stick.

I poked only him in his eye with my stick.

I poked him only in his eye with my stick.

I poked him in his only eye with my stick.

I poked him in his eye only with my stick.

I poked him in his eye with my only stick.

I poked him in his eye with my stick only.

It only needs new breaks, new axles, and a frame straightening.

WHERE is Henny Youngman’s audience?