Ted Rall for December 17, 1998

Transcript:

The bland of the twee and the craven. It's an amazing spectacle. The president is so afraid of being prosecuted for perjury that he's lied his way into impeachment. (Bill Clinton: I, Billy Bob Thornton, president of the unified sugar trust, deny all "sex" as that term is determined by the pythagorean theorem of 1848.) The republicans are so afraid of voter retribution in 2000 that they're rushing at Blitzkrieg speed through a process that no one wants. (Man: This is our big chance to demonstrate that no man is above the law. Let's hurry up and get it over with!) The democrats are so afraid of looking like self-serving apologists that they're pleading for a censure they don't want to which will cripple Gore's upcoming campaign. (Bill Clinton: Good news- you own party wants to condemn and humiliate you!) As for us, at least we have our priorities straight... (Woman: Impeachment could destroy the stock market!) (Man: At least Clinton's keeping us out of war!)