Ted Rall for March 11, 2006
Transcript:
Man: If only the Fuhrer had had this advantage! Woman: The future belongs to those in control of a dexterous monkey army capable of swinging through our enemies' open windows! Monkey: Must... wiggle... tail... Woman: Now that Al Qaeda has robot monkeys, it's time to escalate the animalatronic arm's race! George W. Bush: Show me. Woman: Radio-controlled sharks will glide through the oceans of the Middle East, collecting intelligence on the terrorist Navy! And they'll take care of those monkeys - with extreme prejudice. Shark: Must... eat... monkey... Man: Remote-controlled bionic shark fin fishermen! Osama bin Laden: Order more monkey implants! Early in the 1970s the U.S. military began experimenting with animal brain implants. By 2003 rhesus monkeys had been attached to computer controls. Now the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency is turning the ultimate predator into an aquatic automaton. Direct neural interface. But somewhere in Pakistan: