Ted Rall for October 02, 2006

Transcript:

Congratulations! You have joined an elite group of Americans. You have your very own Health Insurance! Now, you're asking: What should you do if you're sick? We care about you, we want you to see your doctor right away. To avoid delays, pay your doctor during your visit. (Woman: We don't take amex cuz of fees.) Allow 6-8 weeks for processing of your claim, which we will claim we never received. Allow another 6-8 weeks for processing of your duplicate claim, darned unrelieable post office! If you are still alive, we will determine whether yours was a pre-existing condition. (Woman 2: Dude, that virus was totally latent.) Please keep your valuable claim denial letter for your records. (Man 1: You think Hartford was built by paying claims? We never pay!) If you're wondering, there is a difference between you and the 47 million Americans without health insurnce. (Man 2: I'm out $600 a month in premiums.)