That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 02, 2019

“It’s only a flesh wound.”

“All those who just want go home and have pizza, raise your hats.”

Kid on the deck is cueing up “We Are The Champions” on the ship’s Victrola.

Yes, me mates, it was these two fingers that pinched her royal arse! And that’s why I’m the captain of the this garbage scow instead of a warship.

Whoever wants to go to Hooters to drink a beer that raises his hand.

Okay you win; the brown skirt makes you look the most gay.

But don’t worry. We have a good supply of eye patches.

“Migod ! He’s pregnant AGAIN ! And at his AGE ! "

Victory; we fight to win

Victory; is ours again

We are the scourge of the land and sea

Beastly pirates are we.

“Yes, yes, it’s a nice pose, Pierre.”

Okay, listen up everyone…..As your cruise director I’d like to see by a show of hands…First, Who’s going on today’s whale watching tour in the Zodiac? Second, who’s staying on board eating and drinking the day away?

Next person who smirks saying “Aye Aye Captain” to me gets 2 days in the brig.

“Then it’s decided: We shall forever be known as the pirates who wear lace doilies around their necks and knee boots. We shall strike terror into the hearts of men and fashion designers wherever we go.”

Sure I love his stories how he battled the enemy, but the truth is he couldn’t see the step because of his big belly and hit his head on a cannon.

I claim these lands in the name of Spain but only the parts where it never rains on the plains. We got that back home already…

AAARRRRGGGGG

Good ole Capt. Plumb Bob is cheered for surviving another round of Senate Budget Hearings.

Peg Leg: Oh, sure. An EYE! Forget about any OTHER potential injuries.

Hook: Typical.

One-eyed Willie: At least you guys get cool nicknames.

This is a painting of King Christian IV of Denmark standing on the battleship Trinity after being wounded during battle with the Swedes (sibling rivalries are horrible). Even though he was wounded in 13 different places and lost an eye, he urged his men to keep on fighting.

The Captain’s affection for beer/ t’was that, which destroyed his career/ his prodigious paunch/proved too pond’rous to launch/ and in shame, he was sent to the rear.

Christian IV on the ship “Trefoldigheden” (The Trinity): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chr_4_ved_h%C3%B8jen_mast.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, with Google Translate added to chrome://extensions, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this huge, 1866, oil on plaster, mural. There is an 1865, oil on canvas painting of it (Other versions) at another location – the framing says this is the mural.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/marstrand_wilhelm.html 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=4228 

https://www.wga.hu/bio_m/m/marstran/biograph.html 

https://books.google.com/books?id=pvw5AQAAIAAJ&pg=PA764#v=onepage&q&f=false 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the first URL. This is the first work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2193 (May 1, 2019) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Isn’t that a stage performance of “Pirates of Penzance”?

War was once honestly just ‘cause we want your stuff. Grab a wench to breed you many sons to help haul away stuff. Haul away enough stuff to pay troops to haul away more stuff & you’re a king. Now it’s cloaked in excrement of masculine bovines.

Captain giving rules for worlds first all gay cruise,, no rules.

Let this be a lesson to you. Listen to your mother when she tells you not to run with scissors.

All those in favor of having our “navigator” walk the plank, say “arrrrgh”!