The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for June 19, 2014

Cthulhu? Is that yT̥ͅo̠͇̹̞̠̩͝ ̨̖į͖̦͡n͉̥̗̖̠̰̼̘͡v̢̨̮̹̲͇̳͞o̢̭̙̠͇͢k̥͖̝̪͝͝e̡̕҉̫ ̟͔̗͎͖̻͇t̸͓̜͉͜͡h͚̗͎͜e͔̭̲̪ ̫͉̦͙͇͇̀h͉̜̩̤̹̜͞í̩͈̻̪̼͖͕͟v̵̪͎e̮͓͚-͚̭͕̰̰̗̦m̫̪̻͎͉̲͓ì̢̻͍͈̳̮̪n̙̹d҉҉̷̙̥̪̠̼̫͓̪ ҉̟̩͓͖̤͝r̵̙͚e͏̤̠̀p̶̰̰̳͢r̰̼̜̰̭̠̰ẹ̩̱͉̞̪s̮͓̀ẹ̴̰̝ņ͓͍t̻̜̯̜̳̱̝͞i͏̨͙̮̩͓̳̯̱̫͟ń̡̙̹́ģ̧̳͍̮͚̖̠̕ ̵̷̝̹͍͓̝̙̜c̴̞͚̤̣h͇͓̗̖̲̤͘a̻͔̘͕̺͔̘ͅó̴͉͎̬̲͜s͞͏̯̮͉.̧҉̢͔̣͔͓̦̗̻̳̲͎͚̦I̮̖͙̠ņ͖̠v͏͓̣o̜̳̺̕͘ḱ̖i̲̤̫̞̺͓̤͝ǹ̮͓̼͕̬͖̙̙͡g̴̻͠ ̺̹̖̤̠t̜̤̣̦̯̜̕h҉̴̨̥͕̥̟̳e̻̩̱ ̞̟̬̠̣̝͍̀͜͞f̠̙͓̣̻̼̭e͍̜̬͕͚̖̟͟e̷̼̲̦̩̹͇̘̼̺l̜͚̻͖̞̗͟͠ͅi̲̻̠͓̟n͍̤͇̘̘͚̜̜ǵ̵͏̮̠̺̯̠͉̱̩ͅ ͙̞̩͇͚͘o̺͓̺̮͜f̦̞̥͖̙ ̥̞͎̮͘ͅc̷̡͎̝͔̺͟h̤̪͓͢ą̛̦̻͙̺ͅọś̰͢.͙̱͓̲͉͚̘̲̲̫W̷̩͇͟ì̮͇ţ̛͈̮̙̥͕̘̀ͅͅh͏̰̰ ͍͇͉͇͎̩̲͜ͅo͏҉̘͕͈͓̞u̧̹̗̤͖̻̭͡t̛̳͕̜̦͓̭͟ ̵̡̥̩̞̗͘ò̫̦͙͚͔̫̟͎ŗ̩͘d҉͡҉̘̳é̥͍̱̯͖̻͇̤͘ŗ̮̺̞͈̦̼̳̯͔̕̕.̧̡̰̱͓̻̙̞̬̥̘͈̣̥͕̬ͅT̷̼̭͇͖̬̥̥h̪̘e̢̠̬͇ ̦̤͙̲̮̪̀N̶̛͉̝̺̳̙͡e̢̙͈̤z̟̦̜̫̩̫͇͖͡p͓̻̤̩̫̭̰͖e̲̺͎̼̩̮͍ŕ̷̠̫́ḏ̶̨̛̬̹̝̭̳̦͖i̳̘̠̠̪͢͡a̶̛̻̫̣̜̰̣ņ̻̬ ̻͔͢h̴̸̳͖͇͓i̥͓v̢̛͔̟̗̘̱̩͡ḙ̸͚̪̩͢ͅ-͇͜m̷̖̮͔̱̪͚͘i̭̗͟ǹ͍̹̫͖d͓̼͎̱͘ ̶̜̘͠o̡̧̥͡f̧͙͓͘͡ ̘̙̤͖̩͠ç̫ḫ̸̜͓̙̦̻͕̹͘a̸̫o̸͓̗̘̭͖͇̹s̸̖̝̜͎̝͢.̜̗̦̟̞̞̻́͢ ͅZ͇͖͘͘a͏̶͕̱̙̺̙̯̝̝ḷ̢͓̜̳͎͖͈g̡̤̤ǫ̴̫͈͉͉̞.͉̟́̕҉̱̣͇̦̹̖͚̱́H̴̶͖̙ȩ̴͍̹ ̶̻͜͠w̢̯̭̭̳h̵̭̝̪͉͘o͈̥̠̳̺ ̶̪̤̥̲̠̣͍͇̕͠W̯̮̞̰̟̭͘͢ͅa͏̹̣̣̟͕i̠̮̰͕̲̟t͙̱̪̙̲̜̤̺̮s̻̱̹ ͉̘̱̟̯B̶̶̠̲͈̝͠e̛̯̬͓͚͘ͅḥ͓̟̱͇̮̜̹͉͟i̛͕̜̜̱ǹ̢̗̪d̤̙ ̬̕ͅŢ̫̩̕h̟̝̼̗̬͔͜e̠̠̤̜̩̬͖̕ ͏͙̗̥̺̩̲̰̤ͅW͖̮̥͍̤͎a͇̲̣̻ͅl̖̣͉͙̹̘̞̹̹͜l҉͎͍̺̼̥͓͇̭.̺͓̞̰̯̣͉̪̤Z͏͈A̴҉̘̠̭Ļ̟̰̭̲͈̯͘͜G̨҉͙̠̱ͅO̯̟̺!̫̹̹̠̜͖͠

Cooking, just like at home…

Seems like he ordered The Japanese Horror Flick special….

He did, after all, order it well done.

Last season, one of the contestants on Worst Cooks in America was selected because she burnt everything she cooked. (It was the only way she knew how to be sure it was cooked through.) She ended up winning.

I guess he wanted a burnt offering.