The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for May 18, 2021

Watch out for the splinters.

For the water boy.

If it were football season, he’d be the end guard and tackle, he’d sit on the end of the bench, guard the water bucket and tackle anyone who came near it.

When I played soccer with friends I was so good that I was always a goalkeeper, a role in which I could do less damage.

Hey, that’s my old position!

As DS you have to watch out for that career ending injury: the hemorrhoid!

That is a vital position, which tells the team which bench to sit on when they are up to bat.

When I tried out for a team they put me in the out field. The left out field.

well, at least he’ll keep the bench warm when they get back…

My favorite position: Left out.

Butt….

He wanted to be 2nd base but he squirmed too much when someone would stand on him.

End and Guard end of the bench and Guard of the water bucket

I picked up soccer while attending seminary. The kids in my church boys program, while I coached their basketball team, expected me to ref their pickup soccer games. I didn’t know soccer from a hole in the ground. It was always that crazy sport we’d see every four years on the ABC Wonderful World of Sports. We’d try to copy their heading technique, but with our basketballs; not a good idea. But, in seminary, I did learn about the game, became a good ref, and played right back and left wing, and occasionally goalie. Now though, at 71, I just do a lot of watching.

I was a DH – something was always hitting me… balls, bats, helmets, other kids…

Sad, he is on the way to being a born loser. Is that hereditary?

Oh, so you’re the equipment manager’s assistant and utility player when the need arises.(Sounds Better)…..

In my first year in Little League, when I played, which wasn’t a lot, I was in right field, where your worst players are usually located. In my second year, I played first base when I wasn’t pitching.

But probably the weirdest thing that ever happened when I was playing baseball was a pickup softball game played during a grade school recess. Sometimes softball is played with an extra player that ranged behind second base. That is where I was playing when a little soft liner came out to me. I had to run in towards second base to catch it. There were “men” on first and second with one out. I caught it and doubled off the man on second, then ran right into the man coming to second from first. If there had been no outs, it would have been an unassisted, triple play!

That’s better than being the DD. Designated Dummy.

I am surprised Brutus isn’t familiar with the DS designation from his own childhood.

Are you sure Coach said “sitter”?

He’s a chip off the old block. Sorry Chip – couldn’t resist!

There is probably more to do sitting on the bench, as opposed to standing all alone in right field. Nothing ever happens out there.

Perhaps he is seen as a baseball lover. He does not hate it enough to knock it out with one hit.