The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for June 12, 2022

The Witch curse.

Death by a thousand cuts

And it’s not even open yet.

Did I see R.I.P.

It could be worse she could be at your house caring for you. Think of that and be thankful for a paper cut.

Brutus should adopt my habit of always using a scissors to open the mail., it’s useful in avoiding paper cuts.

This is why I only text with my M.I.L. I text her often too. I feel like it keeps her in the know or wards off evil spirits. Keeps her from stopping by. We moved 40 miles out of town and that didn’t work.

That’s what letter openers are for.

Being bed ridden by a cold in the month of June. Now that’s what I call a born loser. (Exception and apologies to people living in Northern Alaska.)

I’ve had a few paper cuts that way, till I started tearing off the ends of the envelope. Course, thanks to a charity I give to, I now have an envelope cutter. Neat.

That was predictable, and I don’t even know her mother.

A little dab of super glue is great for paper cuts

ya sure a blanket is enough to keep him warm… colds can make you freezing even in the summer. I remember when I got those, I put several blankets on with a coat, two pants, socks with it over a hundred degrees in the summer heat and I was still complaining that I was cold… I’m glad all I get out of it anymore is the sour throat, sniffles and terrible headaches.

Should’ve trusted your instincts Brutus.

A paper cut…get him a band aid!

Yeah. She wants to lift your Spirit out of your body. Witches like blood sacrifices, even if they are just paper cuts…..

I just watched an episode of “Have Gun, Will Travel” called “The Man Who Struck Moonshine”, with William Conrad as a sort-of Born Loser. He has promised his wife that he will abstain from drinking for one whole year, but when he drills a well for water, he gets instead, high-class whiskey. Conrad is wonderful in this, certain that this is a “test”. The dialog is brilliant, and very funny…

Was the paper flap impregnated with curare?

“The point envenom’d too!

Then, venom, to thy work."

She probably told him if he sees a bright light, to go to it!!!

Maybe that will get rid of the bad blood between them, but I don’t think so.

An ill wind blows no good.

Mama Gargle would send Brutus a “Get Sick” card.

Pretty bad cold if it lasts the four+ days it takes a “first class” letter to go across town these days…