The Comic Strip That Has A Finale Every Day by John "Scully" Scully for July 26, 2022

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Uncle Names Twins

A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma. When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, “Doc, what happened to my baby!”

The doctor replied, “Ma’am, you’ve had twins! You’re the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you.”

“Oh, no!” shrieked the woman. “Not my brother! He’s not really all together, if you know what I mean!”

The doctor replied, “Well, ma’am, your brother named your daughter Denise.”

“Oh, that’s no so bad,” smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, “What’s the boy’s name?”

The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew.

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Gotta Love the Aunts

My aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

And That’s When the Fight Started…

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says my wife, “Who would think that a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And that’s when the fight started…

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…

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More tomorrow

Ah, me made it just on time today. Where’s the tacos? Gimme gimme gimme!