The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 02, 2019

I think he’s barking up the wrong end.

My throat’s a bit ruff.

Reality bites.

A lot of us neighbors suffer from irritable bow-wow syndrome.

Check to see if he has a no-bark collar.

But where’s Max?

So I guess his bite is worse than his bark?

Give him a shot in the bark, doctor. And give yourself one too. It might help with that speech impediment.

BTW did you pups have a nice “Howl-O-Ween”?

IBWS? I hope not, I only go out a few times a day….This could be messy….

No. It’s only the tiny dogs that have the irritating bark!

…and Big Pharma has a drug for that (probably addictive)

When my dog barked his butt-hole did pucker.

Guy’s down on his luck, walks into a bar, asks if he can have a free drink if he shows off his talking dog. Bartender’s dubious but says to go ahead and give it a shot. Guy looks at the dog and asks “What’s this over our head, boy?”

“Rrroooofff”

“What’s the opposite of smooth?”

“Rrrruffff”

“Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”

“Rrrruth”

“Get outta here” says the bartender.

Moments later, they’re sitting dejected on the curb in front of the bar and the dog muses “Do you suppose I should’ve said Ty Cobb?”

Full moons and missing Dalmatian puppies are murder on the dog throat.

Thanks to Stephen Pastis for being the guests script writer today.

Should clear up in about a week. Meanwhile I’m prescribing a citronella collar.

Now, if he’d switch to “arf arf” instead of “bow wow,” he might find that more soothing!

Dog world.

I know of some dogs that I wish had that problem.

he wanted candy