Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 18, 2003

Transcript:

Did You Know? this week -- Lord of the Rings With the second installment of the "Lord f the Rings" movie trilogy, ring fever has taken over, causing fans the world over to wonder whether a series of ring fun facts could be written by someone who has never seen the movies nor read the books! The character Virginia Woolf the Boring, Suicidal Huntress did not appear in the novels, but was added to the movie only to increase its Oscar Gravitas! Q: When attacked by the Demongoats of Zekyr Ruel, why didn't Fornu the Wizard use his pouch of protective pixie dust? A: We are not worthy to know. Film continuity goof! In the treacherous Caverns of Muldo, we see Laragon lying wounded. After the shot cuts to Melkiin, Laragon is now in a trailer eating a bagel bite. Author J.R.R. Tolkien insisted his tales were not allegories... Except, he conceded that the Hobbits represent hopeless fantasy nerds! Sam Ritter was cast as the Elfen Elder despite the fact that everyone knows that Raelin Elves are uncircumcised! 0.5% of the male population put themselves to sleep at night by imagining themselves as members of the ring fellowship! Dude: Fear not, noble Antwyre. My sword is in your service. Why, Unsulla, swamp vixen! What are you doing?!