Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 10, 2004

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- REALITY! You've read about it in PEOPLE MAGAZINE! You've seen it hyped on ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT! REALITY is the hottest thing in Hollywood! And the great thing is -- many of us LIVE in it! Reality may not have mind-reading squirrels (one must keep reminding oneself), but it IS chock full of fun facts and infotaining enternmation! Reality was first discovered by Aristotle, but was forgotten about for centuries...UNTIL REGIS PHILBIN REDISCOVERED IT IN 1999! SORRY! Nice try, but you do NOT share the same reality with pop songstress ALICIA KEYS! Reality was named by New York Magazine the "top spot for a bloody mary" three years in a row! The Speckle family, of Noblesville, Ind, eschews reality during their holiday gatherings, preferring a SCRIPTED, FICTIONALIZED state of existence. In 2002, ABC's planned reality show, "Philosophy Factor" was scrapped after Immanuel Kant refused to eat live caterpillars in the pilot -- and then proved that all reality is an illusion! GET READY! YOUR reality is about to undergo a surprising sci-fi plot twist!