Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 23, 2016
December 22, 2016
December 29, 2016
Transcript:
"ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE" George: I mismanaged my bank and its going bankrupt. Im going to end it all... Clarence: George! wait! Im your guardian angel! Im going to show you what things would be like if you'd never been born and so hadn't voted against Donald Trump George: B-but... Trump was elected president, so this is your charming little town now. ( get out, ya filthy Mexican!) George: Bert! Bert: Not now! Im Making America Great Again ya cuck! Bum: Can ya spare some cash? I got no job, no health insurance. Clarence: Don't you see George? America needed you to stop Trump! George: But Thats what Ive been trying to tell you, ya nut! I did both for Trump! He's the president , and this is what my town is like! Now I have to get home you libtard! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Muslim registration office! Wife: George! Corporate taxes are zero! There are no banking regulations to protect the public, and no minimum wage! Banker: The bank is bailed out again! You're literally the richest man in town...literally! Wife: To Hell with everyone else! (why its wonderful) Girl: Teacher says overtime a bell rings, a snowflake angel gets beat up by an alt right patriot! Ha-ha! Merry Christmas and screw Happy Holidays!
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“It’s a Wonderful Life” has one of the most depressing messages of any movie ever. Remember that George Bailey dreamed of becoming a pilot and traveling the world, but ended up having to stay in Bedford Falls to take care of everybody else. The ultimate message of the movie is “stay in your place, forget about your dreams—they are for other people to live.” How uplifting!
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In second place, of course, is “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” whose message is, “all heroism is pointless.” Remember that the Nazis ultimately got the Ark despite all of Indy’s heroics. For all the good he did, he might as well have stayed in that bar in Tibet making up with his old girlfriend.