Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for January 07, 2025

Tuna Out The Gifts

Many years ago we had a Maine Co-on cat. He was as friendly as can be unless you were a squirrel. His favorite thing to do was to decapitate a squirrel and then hide in the bushes next to the front door. As soon as the door would open, he would run inside with the poor thing and drop it on the carpet. I know he was trying to show us how to hunt, but this was a bit much to put up with.

Throwing them out didn’t get the point across, so one day I tried a different tactic. This time, I went to the kitchen, grabbed a can of tuna, and started eating it right in front of him. He picked up the dead squirrel and took it outside, and I didn’t see him for three days. I never knew it was possible to insult a cat.

He did forgive me. And in the next 17 years, he never once brought another prize in the house.

that would leave me “week-less”

I’d like that. Returning too many days can leave you week.

No refunds or exchanges without a receipt.

I’d return about 50 years if my old age went with it. Make that 55 yrs.Just before I met my ex-wife.

By the way, I suspect Aunty’s favorite office plant is likely a prickly pear cactus.

November 1969: I am returning from a cross-country flight in my Cessna 150 to my home runway which was 2,000 feet long. I had all of about 20 hours flying experience and was proud of how well I flew. My approach was to the side of the runway that overhung a cliff.

Everything was normal unit short final approach when someone pressed the down button on the elevator. Everything rose in the windshield until I was looking OUT, level with the runway instead of out and down at it. I was about 100 feet out and the side of the cliff was approaching at 65 miles an hour.

I was caught in a severe downdraft.

I pulled back on the yoke and slammed the throttle into the firewall. The plane shuttered, the stall warning horn wailed in protest and the wheels punched down on “brick one” of the runway.

I was glad I had 1,999 feet 11 and a half inches of runway left because my knees were shaking too much to apply the brakes. It was as close to an involuntary bowel movement as I’ve ever had at the controls of an aircraft.

I should have died that day.

I had two takeaways from the experience.

The first was to fly a steeper approach and aim further down the runway.

The second was that every day since, all over over 20,000 of them, are a gift. All I have done, everyone I have loved since then has been precious to me.

Well Aunty, Master Shifu would look at you, shake his head and remind you that, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift… that’s why they call it present.”

Hold on to it, you’ll need it later… ☺

Hard day at the office, Aunty?

Yep…..if today was a fish…..I would throw it back!!!!!

Time spent away from your box o’ wine is pure torment. Just remember you need this job to pay for said box o’ wine.

Does she have an IPear?