Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for April 25, 2017

It’s was when you yelled Hey wifey.

For about the thousandths time.

Willmont better be careful . Willamae holds the “over 60, shooting championships” title.

But she has bullseyes all over her. It could get confusing.

She offered her honor, I honored her offer,

And all night long I was on ’er and off ’er.

Just shoot him!

I don’t enjoy doing this. The last time we did this, those paintballs left big bruises all over me.

It’s a little role play the two Wills enjoy. They use water pistols at dusk in a Spy vs. Spy sort of way as they pursue each other throughout the house trying to get a good clean shot. Inevitably, the chase always concludes with a dramatic showdown in the master bedroom and then, you know, fade to black.

If you don’t know, she’s not going to tell you.

When someone asked her who her husband was.

I’m disappointed if they’re water pistols.

I was expecting them to unfurl those little flags that say “bang.”

Willmont, it isn’t that you impugned her honor, it is " that constant breathing, in and out " Don’t ask me how I know.

Unless you got time for a Tiki trip for a drink (or twelve) and a tale. I hear they have a dinner and a movie special today in the Hamilton/Burr room. They are serving a chunk of nice humble pie (no, not the band), with some fancy dessert that is best served cold.The movie is “The Shootist” .

Are those two at it again?

Pistols at dawn.

Ignorant impugning of the honor of one’s spouse, is a common marital misdemeanor, here in Ballard, as any husband can attest.

Willamae tends to be a tad overly sensitive and reacts in a polite, subdued, and lethally old fashioned manner.

WHITEHERON, Willmont will be joining us for Bloody Mary’s this morning !

“well, you see, your Honor, it was like this. She is a little hard of hearing. What I said was ‘I need a sharper blade, but you have no honer’…”