Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for November 05, 2018

Aha! Caught in the act! (Arcanum XIII)

So she moonlights as a telemarketer? The bitch!

Well Sassy there has been left out date wise because LMMHM gets all the boys. She found this site called Butt match.com. She was hooked from the start and met a gorgeous Collie named Lance. Alas he turned out to be a plain old hound with a $20 haircut.

Now she is pursuing a Great Dane named Sven. However there are rumors that fake pics are being posted. He might be a not so Great Dane.

Ted should be glad that ever since he got that Note5, she’s been able to use the cell phone….

His old phone was just too small for her paws…. his too, actually.

Now that his cell plan gives him unlimited minutes and long distance, at least it’s not that expensive….

except for the bills from the site, which he’s been refusing to pay, cos he thought they were bogus.

 

Before that, he couldn’t figure out the mysterious 1-900 calls on the landline…

They were a lot more expensive… and he was darn sure he never called 1-900-Big-Bone.

MONKEEEE!

I’ve been checking your profile every day…. and you haven’t said anything for a month.

but somehow, you finally posted a couple of days ago, and I missed it!

So sorry…. I’ve been missing a bit lately.

 

You see, the Monkey posted about Ted’s Wayside for Alternative Thought…..

“Ahm hopin hiZ PERMIT iS CURRANT… Layte Feez ar $43.22 Per Day… Jus sayin’ (Hello SuZan…!!!)”

And what luck…. we have Ted right here today!

I’ll talk to BatPug… I’m sure he’ll want to come right over and check Ted’s permits!

(Maybe he’ll want to meet Sassy, too…. but I gotta say… she’s got 60 pounds on him, easy.)

 

We need our Sheriff!

Groan

Perhaps Ted did butt dial and she just went there to sniff it out.

I wouldn’t be so sure of that.

Naughty dog. Probably looking at kitty porn.

….and it appears it wasn’t butt-dialing at all! If the dog had been butt-dialing, it might’ve been time to get a new phone……and perhaps a new ear.

There are a lot of Poodle X Vids out there. Scooter is going to watch them all!

" Humanity I love you,

Because you’re perpetually finding the secret of life

Sticking it in your back pocket

Forgetting it’s there

And sitting down on it…."

.

e.e.cummings

In a somewhat related thought, Ted muses that it’s probably time to get Sassy’s nails clipped…

Why is Ballard Street Meat Market on speed dial?

Mutt dialing!

You don’t want to know how Scooter’s been butt-dialing.