Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 19, 2025

Stew, get in here! These dishes aren’t going to wash themselves.

Stew knows that dinner can’t be ready ye, the smoke alarm hasn’t gone off.

Love the “heel savers” on his shoes. Nice touch, Jerry.

Stew may soon come upon a structural problem with himself.

Harriet has seen this ruse before

She takes her lariat by the door

And hog-ties Stew with expertise

To drag him slowly by degrees

To scrub the dirty kitchen floor —

A chore he has much come to abhor!

There was a young fellow called Stew,

Who used to sniff solvents and glue,

Although it’s more dear,

He now sticks to beer,

The sofa is where he hides brew!

Give it up, Stew, there’s nothing wrong with the couch and you’re stalling for time.

Stew is slowly simmering while the stew is slowly simmering.

Good morning Balladeers!

That Stew, he messed with her cookin’,

and now it’s too late to get bookin’.

Just what did he do? He dumped the Tofu,

and he did it when she wasn’t lookin’…

Stew, by inclination a couch potato, prefers searching for studs to peeling spuds.

Stew’s stew for supper is somewhat stalled.