Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for July 27, 2011

There are some differences between raising kids and heroin addiction. Heroin addicts experience periods of euphoria.

You can quit heroin or having kids by pure willpower.With kids there are surgical or prophylactic alternatives to willpower, but eliminating the monkeys already on you back generally involves jail time.

For other and more legal life-changing choices, tattoos are removable after you get one, albeit at a greater expense. Kids can’t be removed barring court orders.

Kids are an expensive habit.

If I had had kids, I’d feel I owe them an apology for the rotten world into which I’d brought them.

If my friends persist… I point out that our choice to go childless has meant that our tax dollars get “donated” to help fund their kids’ schools, and the 1,000 per child tax credit they receive yearly…

So, we’re doing our part.

I’m glad this strip didn’t take a more ageist or misanthropic route.

Heroin is cheaper.

Scott, you have made this childfree by choice woman very happy with today’s strip. I’d copy it and distribute it at will to every obtrusive person who dares to ask why I haven’t had a kid yet (starting with a clueless OB/GYN who once lectured me about my “biblical duty to birth my husband healthy babies”) if I weren’t worried about violating copyright laws. Will this appear on a t-shirt, coffee mug, poster suitable for framing, tattoo template, etc. in the near future?

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! For posting this strip! I have a friend who’s EXACTLY like that! [Although in my case, the decision is to not marry—or even have a girlfriend] No matter how sound or logical my reasons, this fellow continues to dismiss and ignore them. I’m seeing them later this evening [which is why I’m so glad you posted this TODAY]. Maybe your strip will help him get the point.

Three little monkeys jumpin’ on a bed……(go ahead, finish it…!!!)

And there is nothing wrong with ageist or misanthropic reasons not to have kids. No matter what your reason, not having kids is your choice. It’s amazing how people cannot seem to accept that as if there is something horribly wrong with you because you choose not to have children.

This would make an excellent T-shirt. Any chance?

More agreement!

“But you’ll change your mind once you have a baby!”“So will you raise the baby if I don’t?”

I see nothing wrong with razing kids. #wcfieldswouldsaythat

This strip hit the nail on the head! I had a vasectomy at 20 and I have never regretted it. I remember certain people looked like I had punched them in the stomach when I told them. They say “What if you change your mind?” But what about having a kid and THEN changing my mind?

It’s GOOD to have children. They can come in very handy. At least that’s what Jonathan Swift seemed to think. [Reference his “A Modest Proposal.” 1729]

I feel that if you don’t want to have children, it would be a horrid mistake to have children. You should never force someone to do something like that if they don’t want to.

Most first time parents, in an honest moment, will admit that they weren’t planning to have a kid. It just happened and they went along with it

“I have long suspected that the male of our species, in most cases, should be raised in a barrel and fed through the bunghole. Then, at age eighteen, a solemn decision can be made: whether to take him out of the barrel, or to drive in the bung.” -Robert Heinlein

I’m glad my 28 year old son didn’t have any children, Since he’ll always be 28 since an armed robber took his life senselessly, there’s no child wondering why his father is not around. Sadly his two nieces miss him terribly, as do I.