Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for July 11, 2022

Pie in the sky

The rest is mostly feathers.

Not 4 and 20 ? What a gyp.

Now now Henry, let’s not lose our heads over this.

Open the pie and see if the 3% still start to sing.

Supply chain issues, no doubt….

Why does my toilet cleaner contain real lemon juice and my lemonade contain artificial flavorings?

0.72 blackbirds? What a bummer!

I’ve always been baffled by that nursery rhyme. Why would 24 blackbirds baked into a pie please the king? For that matter, how could 24 blackbirds fit into a pie? But mainly, how could all those blackbirds survive a 350 degree oven for an hour?

Did they chop blackbirds into pieces???

That’s the lite version.

Kind of like those miniature snack pies (turnover shaped) that back in the day usually had more apple than any other fruit, no matter what the “flavor” was in the title.

I discriminate. I prefer Turkeys.

Just to clarify things for the king, the 3% really isn’t the issue — all he was promised was that the pie would contain four-and-twenty blackbirds. While it may seem unlikely that the pie he’s holding in his hands could contain that many, maybe in their universe the blackbirds are really small. What matters is that you could make a pie that contains the correct number of birds, with enough other ingredients that the birds only make up 3% of the filling.