Close to Home by John McPherson for October 19, 2020

Just cause I’m overweight won’t keep me out will it. By the way these clouds aren’t thick enough.

Which begs the question; Do we retain all of our current attributes after death? Whether North or South-bound?

Pope’s in trouble…..

Is the little yellow guy supposed to be in the comic every day? I sometimes don’t see it but I may not be looking hard enough.

Looks like we’ve got a bean counter running the admissions desk. Guess St. Peter is taking a biology break.

What if he doesn’t believe is science like many folks today?

Heaven can weight? …lol

Those clouds are not ADA compliant…but I wouldn’t complain considering the alternative.

I’ll keep my application active, Pete. Any openings for chubby cherubs?

A Bleebless Monday. :(

“I’m sorry, Sir, but gluttony is registered as a Deadly Sin.”

Bleeb didn’t make it to heaven?

Well, this’n is another 2010 rerun, so…

Gather ‘round kids, it’s time for yet a third mask story from yer ol’ Uncle Dobie.

So… the other day, me and your Aunt pulled up at this convenience store so I could pickup a Red Bull, and while I was walking to the door, it happened again. I sneezed… HARD! And like the other times, my ol’ mask shot straight out in front of me and snapped back slapping me right in the face again! Well, if I could put that in slow motion for ya, we would all see that on its way back to my face, it snagged the gnarliest bug of all bugs, that just happened to be flying by!

Thus began the “holy-crap-there’s-a-bug-in-my-facemask-fight” right out in front of that convenience store. Well, when I finally finished what can only be described as a combination of moves Chuck Norris woulda been proud of, and finally got the mask off… I looked up to see several people standin’ inside at the window watching me. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just did some more totally awesome karate moves and got outa there… you know, just so they wouldn’t think I was weird, or sump’n!

Now kids, just so you know, your Aunt’s probably gonna tell ya that it looked more like I did a Pirouette, a Plié and a Relevé… buuuuuut I’m pretty sure those are just some technical Ninja terms for totally awesome karate moves!

Not funny to overweight people.

Don’t mind me being chastised for my weight or how I died as long as I make it in……

Ewes not fat, ewes is fluffy!

Better be careful stagnitz. Hell not that far below

Dang, he’s still gettin’ nagged.

Is Mr. Stagnitz’s “body” going to hell (in a handbasket)?

Are your feet starting to feel hot?