Close to Home by John McPherson for February 13, 2025

Your call is important, to you. Please call another time.

At least it’s honest,

And all from the comfort of their mother’s basement.

“We can have one of our newest representatives help you. He’s a Nigerian Prince, and he’ll be happy to take control of your computer.”

Is there an unpaid child support line?

I think I’ll try to get through to my clean laundry line.

Watching adult web sites.

Buuut! Your call is still important to us.

Now he can tell people, he once spent three hours on hold with Triglorb customer service just to complain about their customer service.

Awesome, John!!!!!

A representative will be with you shortly. He had to leave the basement while his mother cleaned his ‘office’.

Your expected hold time is less than two days.

Press One for someone who almost speaks English.

Rigorous honesty hotline, I’m not gonna lie…

Known these days as Customer Dis-service

Did he call a government agency by mistake??

Called a number supposedly for Norton anti virus off Google. He didn’t answer as a Norton rep. He wanted to get into my computer. I called wanting a refund from them. I told him I don’t like what you’re trying to do.

That’s just about it these days, talking into a computer! It really ruffles my feathers

In the meantime unplug your device, wait thirty minutes then plug it back in.

Well, they are no help….at least they are honest!