Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for January 13, 2010

Most fitting.

Are the cream-filled the ones who play golf?

My daughter likes the military ones. I prefer the conservatives.

(You know … old-fashioneds?)

How about glazed? What about the frosted ones?

Here’s one for the historians: The jelly donuts are from Berlin.

For those who did not get that, President Kennedy made a speech in which he tried to say the German for, “I am a Berliner,” but the literal translation for what he said was, “I am a jelly donut.”

Dark chocolate ones are the sewerage workers.

The apple fritters just sit around wasting time.

The bagels are the construction workers. Real problems arise when they get lox - er, lax! :))

Yes, the cream-filled ones play golf - they are so full it it!

So it’s just like here. Do the cream filled work in the porn industry?

The light chocolate ones can become president if they don’t have a cocoa dialect.

That’s just Yeast Coast bias…

My German-born TA for German class in college said the Kennedy quote was perfectly acceptable German.

the fritters are environmentalists and are trying to make everyone afraid of rewarming…

ejcapulet, the glazed ones are the stoners. The frosted ones? eskimos…and I bet they’ re eaten by the stoners…

jack75287, yeah, the sprinkles do seem a little efeminate for the military. Doughnut ask, doughnut tell….

and the doughnut holes are the great unwashed rabble who are subjugated by the ruling class whole doughnuts…. until the day that the discouraged, downtrodden , disgruntled doughnut holes rise up against the unjust rulers of doughnutland…. and in righteous anger the unruly mobs of doughnut holes storm the krispykreme bastille and free their unjustly imprisoned brethren from within…

VIVE LA DDDD*!!

*discouraged, downtrodden, disgruntled donut holes

That’s it! I’m hiring everyone of you as writers! Tim Rickard

The “I am a jelly donut” story appears to be a legend. See:

http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/jfk_berliner.htm

I would have though the jelly-filled ones are politicians with their weak constitutions–you never know which way they’re leaning, and like the jelly, they easily flow from one side to the other. The powdered ones are the unemployed–they’ve taken a powder and the glazed ones have become that way from spending too much time in front of a monitor.

What do the police doughnuts eat?

I figured the cruellers would be in the porn industry. Wouldn’t the police doughnuts eat people?

I’m not sure Brewster has those groups right; there have been times when “politician” and “powder” have gone together.

No comment.

Woodennchanoit.

This theme is wearing on me…donut have an end?

It’s a shame that the doughnut planet is such a caste system, with one’s lot in life so connected to one’s garnish. Someday I trust they will live up to the words of Martin Luther King-Biscuit-Flour, who yearned for a day when “doughnuts would be judged not by the decoration of their crust, but the quality of their ingredients.

Thank you ntheodorakis for your confirmation. I believe Pres. Kennedy even had the Berlin accent down correctly.

Edcole1961: I’m sure the BISMARCKS would be proud.