Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for December 14, 2012

He wore it just in case, she wanted a Screwdriver.

Wun stif belt leeds to ’nuther …!!! Barkeep…!!! (hic*)… Ahl have ’nuther….!!!

but Joyce, dont you want my tool? ….belt that is….

Normally, we don’t allow people in the Tiki or the hotel with weapons or sharp objects ( Monkey’s Rules ) but Dennis is sort of an exception because he is so handy.He believes what the great Red Green used to say : " If the girls don’t find ya handsome, at least let ’em find ya handy ! "

Essex60 said, 15 ‘nanner dacquyiri’s ago

@Linda Dean

Hello nice Amerikan lady person. My introduction name is Prince Wannamullah and from I am country Nigeria. Sending you I am a page to give your credit card information. Please you will give no mistake. I have many good american nice lady persons like yourself who do with me business. Trustworthy I am, so please send money now. Thank you nice Amerikan lady person.

Oh my prince! Where have you been all my life?!? Oh my, lets see, my sister Susan’s cc # is 4910- 6579-1112-ioweryuweiurwou…got it? exp date is 1/1/1/1even.,…and cc code is 12345…got it?…good, go for it…

You’re with me? I just got here. And I got nuthin’

Briah…dont worry about it sugar…we all got plenty of it an ya know what, if we dont mind, it dont matter….what does matter is a sense of humor and bubba, you gots one!

Barkeep, get all my friends a drink and give Red and Susan one, when they show up. Here… this doubloon should more than cover the tab and your tip.I’m off to my Ballard Street Bedroom ! See you all a bit later…

Fenton, I feel a juke box jive coming one…can I get a roll of quarter for this $20? Thanks you gorgeous boxer beauty you….OMG Fenton, do you know how gorgeous you are?….my, my, my….

sometimes the plural just doesnt want to exist in your current posting..ah, well….

Fenton is still gorgeous…and the best bartender B.S. has ever known,.,,tip your waitress and bartender generously…especially that handsome boxer….he is attending grad school you know…he is gonna graduate up to dang near St. Bernard status….

oooooh, does that mean Fenton will be bringing me yak steaks and brandy and his own furry self? We can warm each other with each others warmth? Oh its so confusing…so simple to simply remember that Fenton is a gorgeous boxer and one of – if not the best bartender at the Tiki…(and a dang good cuddler too!)ah….St. Bernard….Fenton…both great dogs…but Fenton, yes, sugar, (thanks for bringing me home) you know you have my heart…lets bank the fireplace now sweetie, its time to go cuddle and get warm…got the fleece blankets rolled back and the fan on for white noise…sweet dreams sugar…let me rub your ears till you fall asleep…yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Hi Red!

And thanks, Linguist!I was hoping I didn’t miss Ladies Night by getting here after midnight…

Make mine a double shot of Glenfiddich, would you please, Vince?

Have you guys met Vince?

He’s the fill-in bartender…. Good friend of Fenton’s…. I think they went to Bartending academy together.

He works full time at the Ballard Inn and Taxidermy Shop…but he’s kind enough to take a shift at the Tiki now and then on his night off from there.

Only thing is….He knows all the monkeys in town…. but I wouldn’t bring any other kind of little furry animals in with you if you’re coming to the Tiki when Vince is on….I mean, a 6 foot tall gorilla is one thing…but a 6 foot gorilla who knows taxidermy…well, you know.Mistakes could be made.

oh man Fenton has competition…..but dont worry, my sweet baboo, you will always be number 1 with me…as long as your farts dont stink too badly that is, and as long as you suck on these tick tacks…now lets cuddtle up and wish these folks a good night….dont you love the fire Fenton?….lets go lay on the rug….fire, dreams. doggies, its all perfectly perfect…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Linda…. whose name?

The gorilla I introduced up there is Vince….and you know Fenton’s name…. and a lot more about him, I’d venture, (cough) than I do….

Sorry I didn’t get back in time to respond to you…. or anybody…. my sleep schedule is more than a bit off-kilter, and it messes up the rest.

If you see Dry would you tell her it was all fine?Thanks.

Bri— I guess you didn’t stock around?

I know Bev and the Linguist and Essex were all here and all left just before I arrived….

The Monkey went to bed before the turn…. a little the worse for wear, it seems…

I gotta work on my timing!

As for the strip…. as soon as I saw it, I knew just what I was going to say….and when I got here…..in the very first comment, the Linguist had said it.

I shoulda known.

Wait…. I saw the Monkey say goodnight before the turn….but looking back, I see that he was still up and drinking on this side….

After all that beer across the street, too…

I bet he’s …yup…. sleeping under a table.

(whispers) You OK, Monk?…. ok….I guess you’re fine. That guy can sleep any where.

I’ve gotta go to bed…. but I just made a quick tour, revisiting comments I never had a chance to answer….

Bev…. you posted to me:

“WOO HOO!! ……… Sounds like Susan’s back in business!! so to speak”

That was exactly how I felt! And the “sound” you linked to was music to my ears last night. You never realise it’s so wonderful until one day you can’t hear it!

And I’m making more bread tomorrow…. drop by any time.

Funny you guys were talking about Red Green….I recently posted someplace…. I guess not Ballard Street, that Steve Smith (Red) is eye candy to women my age.

And off the show, this guy ain’t too shabby either….do you recognise him in real life?An unbelievable transformation!

G’night, all…..

Speaking of real life….thanks, Stel.

@Eldo: (yesterday). That is one beautiful cellar / basement you have there. What treasures I could store there until they became useful again. Better than my mother’s cupboard under the stairs….far superior to my father’s shed..You never know when that old Betamax will come in handy again; or the sound card from my 1998 computer.

Dennis wanted to show off, just in case The Trusted Mechanic popped in for a drink.

Most of you seem to keep very different hours than I. I woke up a few times earlier (thunder storm passing through and the lightning passed my eyelids). Decided just to remain in bed, tho..Susan’s gorilla reminds me of my middle son’s costumes – he has done a gorilla and a sock monkey various years while rappelling down buildings for charity.

@Pcolli, I still have a few Beta tapes that I could not get copied – I taped from “ON-TV” before cable. Before my VHS I had purchased 5 different Beta machines (worked for Zenith 9+ years as a facilities engineer).

That’s his tool cummerbund.She was hoping for his utilikilt.

Good Morning Ballardeers ! The old Captain has a very busy day, so I’ll be just popping in and out to check on the goings on. Hope to catch up with you all tonight at the Tikl. have a great day !

Dennis is like my father was. On the lamp table beside his TV chair he kept small tools. I asked him about it. He said a man should never be with out his tools close by. You never know if you have to fix something. If it looks like it needs fixing then fix it. Don’t wait to be told. Dennis is a true Scout. Always prepared. I think he could however use some smaller multi tools could hide them in his pockets.

… actually, I really kinda like “handy” men… I do!

“…Good looks might introduce you but it’s not what keeps us around…’

-VERY true.

What do you expect? His safety belt and mountain climbing gear is at the cleaners.

Before work I stopped by the Marine Corp recruting office to drop off some toys for the tots. Three fresh-faced kids, barely any whiskers, were there to join up. Dear God, let them come back in one piece.

Zzzzzzzzz….. (snik*)……

Good afternoon all!

Susan I LOVE RED GREEN! AND YOU ARE RIGHT! HAROLD IS QUITE A HUNK! LOL! Spotted him right away! ;-)

Linquist, don’t forget another famous Red Green quote:I’m a man, I can change, if I have to, I guess!

I hope Dennis doesn’t stab himself with all those screwdrivers!

Before I forget, to VETERAN, Mechancisburg, PA , huh?

Linda, you won’t believe this, true story, speaking of your Nigerian funds, LOL, I was at the service desk of our local Giant grocery store last week, and their was an old couple there, looking to buy a Money Order, to SEND TO NIGERIA. They bought a sob story from some woman that sent them an email. Didn’t catch the whole story, but the clerk was smart enough to see what was going on, called the manager, and I guess he took care of it from there. Good thing the clerk was a “sharp cookie”. They were trying to buy one for over $1000.

This link is just too perfect not to post…A terriors christmas

Linda, that WAS very cute!

Linda, WOW, TALK ABOUT A SMALL WORLD! A friend of mine sent me that Christmas card yesterday at work! It is adorable, isn’t it?

Dennis is so behind the times. Why wear a tool belt when he could be carrying around the “Ultimate Swiss Army Knife”?

85 tools and an attached ring to put your keys on it!

Here it is, all closed up and ready to go…

Linda, for all I know, the store manager may have done just that, called Consumer Fraud or some authority. This manager is a pretty sharp man who knows his stuff from my dealings with him, he has ordered in specialty items for me for the holidays for my Vegan son, and I have carried on conversations with him about various things, so he may have done just that. I like that store, one of the few places these days where you feel like the employees really CARE about their regular customers.

Hi there bev! May I ask what AC is? Other than Air Conditioning! Since you liked my little doggie, here he is again!

Hullo again…. just stopping in….. have to leave soon for a bit and then and come back.All this back-and-forth on the bus takes a lot out of me.

I wish it would take the right part… ie maybe derriere instead of energy…. but there’s no box to stipulate that on the form.

Hey I can’t complain…. I think Briatollah spends all day going back and forth on the bus….

Gotta look back and see what I need to answer, if I can….

Being new here, I wanted to mention that, but didn’t know if I should. Being a parent, I have cried a few tears today. How will these people go on? So many lives effected that will NEVER be the same again. And I feel so sorry for the Shooters brother, they have plastered his face all over the networks. I hope the police will keep him in protective custody. As far as I know, he has no connection to any of this. What another sad day in our country! And I will stop now! we come here for fun and to forget our troubles.

Gee maybe I talk too much! If so, PLEASE TELL ME! I WON’T BE OFFENDED!

No, No…. I’m really glad some of you posted about it, cos I had somehow missed the news.Wow.Usually I read the news on my computer first thing, but today has had so many interruptions I didn’t…so much for thinking it’s just probably another slow news day.

Thank you Essex, and Bev and Dry.

The stuff I was about to post just somehow doesn’t seem as funny right now.

I’ll be back.

um, no one else has said it… I am afraid I must…Dennis is a bit of a tool!

What evil lurks…? Waaay too much… apparently.

Bailey thank you. I wanted to mention it, thank you Essex for bringing it up.

Susan, I get where you are coming from. I have posted some things to friends here, etc, but I have been scarce.

“Amen. Not enough people living in the spirit of that which was recommended by the One whose birthday soon comes.”-Amen

All of my clothes are actually cloth, but some are costumes (like the 13th Century Surcote of silk taffeta with my heraldry an the 600+ pearls of various sizes on the cockatoo applique).

That shooting incident was only briefly covered in this morning’s news as details had not yet rolled in. Like Columbine and all the incidents since, the press does a disservice by devoting attention to the perps instead of honoring the victims. IMNHO the perps should be totally ignored (no names or profiles) because I have always thought that it just encourages more copycats!!

Thank you. I think we ARE ALL thinking about it, wondering whether we should approach the subject, and if we do, what to say.

And with that, I will say goodnight. If I go on, I will spoil the party here, and then I will have to hide under the Tiki Bar! And LORD KNOWS WHEN YOU FIND ME!

Checking in. Got my Dewar’s with just enough ice to smoth it out. I’m on staycation next week, off until the 26th.@SS In high school we took a long bus trip to Vancouver, BC, Canada. I swore I’d never set foot on another bus again.(This trip was in late May of 1980, a week and a half after Mt St Hellens blew.)

@ Bev, your sweater sounds like one of the dresses I shipped to his house. At least 2 are red (one is the burgandy taffeta that I was wearing here in 1990.

Oops – 1990 burgandy dress

I will try to get photos in all my red dresses this year!

Rose would be thrilled.

OK – I happen to know early there will be a Birthday Celebration going on over at https://cleoandcompany.net/december-14-2022/ – and perkycat’s half-birthday.

I’ve got the invitation to my own surprise-party by accident…

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.

, , , , on down

Hey, hay yeah.