Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for March 29, 2013

Only place I ever had a court appearance – Florida. Hey! I was 20. Extenuating circumstances. Rained every morning.

Finally! Someone who understands what Florida is like.Now go back where you came from and take your politicians with you!

That’s just hilarious. I would guess that Scott could pick apart any place on this planet.

Don’t forget the “Kill anybody who you think is threatening you” law.

Florida: Where Death Stalks You at Every Turn.

Isn’t that Australia?

Florida’s the home of Florida Man, who you might not want to come to your rescue.

He doesn’t even mention the fact that a large part of the population walks around armed and an alarming percentage of those have questionable mental stability. I was born there and I guess I was lucky to make it out alive.

Did he have help from Carl Hiaasen writing this?

But…it has Walt Disney World!

I always thought it was:Florida: Land of the newly wed and the nearly dead.

Ah yes, the rest of the country has such a great environment in comparison. Snow, sleet, tornadoes, droughts, earthquakes, etc. You could have local theme parks dedicated to outstanding events. Maybe the natural disaster playground for superfluous children.

I’m supposed to be going there in two months. Thanks for ramping up my excitement, Scott!

“Come to Florida. It’s like Australia, only swampy.”

Hahahaha! I remember that one!

Brutal but true.

Witty, as always. Scott, you should do a series on all 50 states… and don’t forget to include the United States’ wonderful Territories too! The challenge will be when you come to my home state in the Pacific Northwest. Can you skillfully eviscerate Washington without utilizing tired restrains about our “exaggerated” rainfall..? (Trust me, there’s more than enough here to ridicule without needing to resort to cliches.)

I was just there over the weekend in Miami and it was actually cool, breezy, and really nice!

There was a typo here,:McDonald’s:where death stalks you at every turn.